A Farmgirl's Hero
by Voltor
Summary: Takes place after Link's return from Termina, and he's all grown up now. Rating for later chapters, possible lemon. I have no control over this story, wherever it takes me, is where I go. There's gonna be some yaoi...so if that's not your thing...skip chapter 11.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story takes place after Majora's Mask, when Link grows up in a peaceful Hyrule. This is a romance, and may include tasteful lemon scenes much later on. Thoughts are 'sadness joy love'. I own nothing, Nintendo, don't sue me. Enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE

It was a bright sunny day at Lon Lon Ranch. A bright eyed, red-haired woman was out in the pasture tending to her horses, when suddenly, a man of about twenty years of age in a green tunic and floppy hat appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. He leaned on the open gate, looked to the pasture, and smiled. The red-haired woman noticed him.

"LINK!" She shouted and ran towards the man with open arms.

"Malon, hi, good to see you too!" He laughed, genuinely happy to see his favorite female friend.

"Link, I've missed you so much! It's been three years since you stopped by," Malon said, as the two held each other in a tight hug. "It was very nice to get your letters, though," Malon and Like separated from their embrace.

"Yeah, I've been keeping pretty busy lately. Mostly exterminating peahats and Stalchildren while aiding travelers and traders across Hyrule Field," Link said, shrugging his shoulders. 'Eh, it's a living.' "So, how's the ranch now that Ingo's gone?"

"Oh, Link, the ranch is doing better than ever! Dad was able to get Ingo to give up most of the rupees he stole, and used that money to buy new equipment for the horses, as well as milk processing equipment, so now we not only sell milk and offer horseback lessons, but we also rent horses and sell cheese and butter. In fact, Valindar was just rented out last week to the Gerudo...he should be back in a couple days," Malon smiled, proud of what she and her father had accomplished.

"Wow, that's great! Um, listen, do you mind if I stay for dinner?" Link suddenly found his boots to be quite fascinating.

"Of course, that would be wonderful! Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah, everything is fine, Malon, I just...need to ask your father something..." 'Yup, those are boots...brown ones, in fact...'

"Well, if you say so...that's okay. Let me just finish brushing Galahad, here, and I'll start dinner," Malon smiled, not sure what to make of Link's odd behavior.

"Great, I'll be inside," Link smiled at her and ran towards the house.

"Link! Good to see you, mah boy!" Talon exclaimed, greeting Link with a bear hug just as the younger man closed the door behind him.

"Before Malon comes in from the corral, um, I need to ask you something,"

"Of course, Link! Anything!" Talon smiled.

"Well, see, the thing is...I really like your daughter. She's the most amazing person I've ever met, and I've met a lot of people..."

"Yeh, what's yer point?" Talon asked, eager to see where this was going.

"Um, would it be okay if I asked your daughter to marry me?" Link blushed at his boots.

"Oh ho! Is that all? The way you were carryin' on, I'd-a thought you were gonna surprise me, or somethin'. Of course you can ask Malon to marry you! I'd be very happy ta have ya as mah son in law, an' been wonderin' when we were gonna have this talk! When're you going to pop the question?"

"I was thinking next weekend at the Palace Gala, in front of most of Hyrule," Link replied happily.

"Do ya have a ring?" Talon raised an eyebrow.

"N-no, not yet anyway. I was going to head to Goron City to see if they had any gems and then I was going to go to Gerudo Fortress to see about fittings..."

"No need, Link. I have mah wife's engagement ring around here somewhere...ah! Here it is!" Talon pulled a burgundy ring box from a drawer in the kitchen and handed it to Link.

Link opened the box, and saw a massive heart cut sapphire in what appeared to be a platinum band "Wow, this is perfect! Wait...was your wife...Malon's mother...a Gerudo?"

Talon sighed as he washed and dried his hands in the wash basin. "Yeah, she was. One o' the best, too. She left the tribe an' married me. The only Gerudo who ever left an' never returned. Her name was Abeeru. Sadly, she passed on when Malon was five. There's a monument dedicated to her on an island in Lake Hylia,"

Link said nothing, put the ring in his pouch, and washed his hands. The two men walked back to the kitchen and sat at the table.

"I'm done with my fieldwork, and am going to start dinner, Dad!"

"Ok, Malon, you go on ahead and Link an' I already washed up,"

"So, what did you two talk about while I was outside?" Malon asked while preparing dinner.

"Oh, it was nothin', sweetie. Just catchin' up, is all," Talon replied, as he gave Link a wink.

Link smiled, and winked back. "Hey Talon, can I rent Ingo's old bed for the night? I get tired of staying at the Inn all the time," he asked.

"Nonsense! You can have the bed for free! Heck, you can stay for breakfast too, if ya want. We got plenty o' food. You want ta pay me back, just bring some salt next time I see ya. We're runnin' low, an' the delivery charges from Death Mountain are insane, what with the volcano actin' all volcano-like these days,"

Link laughed. "Yeah, it has been pretty active lately. Darunia says it's actually two years overdue for a major eruption,"

"Is that right? Well, he would know. I see ya got a Hylian shield, at least,"

"Never leave home without it!" Link smiled.

"Link, where IS your home?" Malon asked.

"Nowhere and everywhere, Malon. Nowhere and everywhere," Link sighed.

"Nonsense! You can stay here with Malon and me!" Talon exclaimed.

"DAD! Link is a very busy man! He doesn't have time to work a farm!" Malon said.

"Well, I ain't gonna make him a farmhand...but we do have an extra bed, an' all. He still has to buy his milk, but his price just went up to 50 rupees a bottle while he stays here," Talon glared at Link, but smiled.

Link smiled. "Still a bargain at twice the price,"

"Dinner is served, gentlemen. Let's eat!" Malon exclaimed, setting a large pot roast with steamed vegetables on the table.

After the three had eaten and heard Link's stories of his adventures helping out Hyrule with infestations of various types, Talon got up and stretched.

"Well, I'm off ta bed. Got a busy day tomorrow. Gotta deliver some milk, cheese, and butter to Hyrule Castle in time for the Gala," Talon headed up the stairs towards the bedrooms.

"Goodnight Dad," Malon giggled.

"Sleep well, Talon," Link said, smirking.

"Don't stay up too late, you kids," Talon retorted before closing his door.

"C'mon, Malon, I'll help you clean up the dishes," Link said.

"Oh, you don't need to do that. I can manage," Malon replied.

"Please, I insist," insisted Link, grabbing his plate and cup and walking to the wash basin.

"Fine, but I'll wash if you dry," Malon relented.

A few minutes later, the dishes were washed, dried and put away. Malon asked,

"Link, do you think you could come up to my room for a little bit? I have a couple dresses, and I'm not sure which one to wear to the Gala. My dad says they both look great, but I'd like a second opinion,"

"Sure, I'd love to help," Link agreed.

Link was nervous standing in Malon's room. With Malon. In her room. With her dad sleeping across the hall. In his room. Nevertheless, he stayed and watched as Malon went to her wardrobe and pulled out two dresses. One was dark blue velvet with gold lace accents . The other was yellow satin with yellow lace sleeves and yellow lace around the midriff.

"Ooh, tough choice. This might be harder than I thought," Link stated.

"I KNOW! I just can't decide which one to wear to the Gala! I don't even have a date! Ugh, why did I agree to go to this stupid thing, anyway?" Malon whined.

"What do you mean, you don't have a date?" Link asked, taken aback by this news.

"No one wants to be seen with a farm girl," Malon explained.

"I do," Link shrugged, muttering.

"Wait, what?" Malon was stunned.

Link smacked his forehead with an open palm. "Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes, you did...Link...are you asking..."

"No...yes...YES! Malon, may I accompany you to the Gala?"

"Of course! But I really don't know which dress to wear..."

"The yellow one," Link said sharply.

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely. Definitely the yellow one. It will look good with my green tunic," Link reasoned.

"Thank you, Link. For the decision, for the date...for everything! Thank you!" Malon gave Link a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, and pushed him towards the door. "Now get out so I can get ready for bed,"

Link opened the door and Malon shoved him into the hall, and slammed the door shut. Link heard the turning of a lock. He shook his head, smirked, and headed to bed, himself.

The next day, everyone awoke to the sound of a cucco. Link and Talon got up first and changed into their day wear, and waited for Malon to come down. Link offered to cook breakfast, and Talon agreed.

"Hey, Link, good morning dad...wait, Link can cook?" Malon was incredulous.

"Yes, I can cook. Out in the wilds, a guy has to eat and doesn't have someone to cook for him. Though I must say, these ingredients are way better than what I'm used to," Link retorted.

"So, what's fer breakfast?" Asked Talon.

"Bacon and omelettes with sausage, cheese, green bell peppers, and forest mushrooms. It's one of my favorite things to cook. And, we're ready to serve," Link answered.

Everyone enjoyed the meal and after Link had cleared the table, Malon and Talon started their busy day. Link washed the dishes, dried the dishes, and put the dishes where he found them. He went outside to announce his departure.

"I'm leaving now!" He shouted loud enough for Malon to run from the field. She tackled him and they both fell back into a pile of hay.

"Don't forget to pick me up for the Gala, Link,"

"No, I won't. I could never forget to accompany such a beautiful woman," Link whispered, combing a stray lock of her hair out of her eye with his finger.

Malon giggled. "Oh Link. That's very nice of you to say, but you don't have to pretend I'm the prettiest woman you've seen,"

"Who's pretending? What? Don't give me that look..." Link replied, losing himself in her smiling eyes.

Malon got off Link, and helped him up. They embraced for a time, then Malon went back to the corral to finish tending the horses.

Link headed off to Hyrule castle for his weekly Royal To-Do-List®.

"Ah, Link, that time already?" The gate keeper asked, fumbling with his keys.

"Yup. I'd hate to be late for tea with the Princess. Worse, I'd hate to miss out on this week's edition, Jerry," Link replied.

"What do ya mean, this week's edition?" Jerry the guard was perplexed.

"Why, the Royal To-Do-List®, of course!" Link replied.

Jerry laughed as he opened the gate, "Boy, that's funny right there. Ha ha...alright, off ya go!"

"See you in a bit, Jerry!" Link waved to the guard, and headed up to the castle.

"Need any help with those crates, Talon?" Link asked as he saw Talon unloading a large cart pulled by four horses.

"Nah. I can handle it. You go on ahead and tend to yer 'Royal Duties', heh heh," Talon replied kindly, making quotes with his fingers where indicated.

Link went inside when the drawbridge was lowered. He headed through the halls, and decided he would have some fun. Instead of taking a right and going out the courtyard door, he would take a left into the throne room. That's what he did.

"Hello, your Highness, I'm just here for my weekly visitation with your daughter, the exalted Princess Zelda," Link said, bowing on one knee.

"Ho ho! Get up, Link, no need for such pageantry from you. The Royal Family knows of your past deeds...how long ago has it been? Ever since the timeline was thrown off, I can't keep track...any way, she's in the courtyard as always," King Harkinian III replied.

Link smirked and went to the window in the throne room, looking out to the courtyard. "Hey. Psst. Zelda! Hey! Look! Zelda! BEHIND YOU!" Link whispered and then shouted.

"EEEK! LINK! You scared me! Din help me, you're going to be the end of me!" Zelda was shaking noticeably.

Link pointed and laughed. "BWAHAHAHAHA! You should see the look on your face!"

"Ugh, you...you...you know what? Here's your weekly list of tasks we need you to complete. Also, don't forget to come to the Gala. Are you coming with anyone special?" Zelda inquired.

"Yes, actually. I'll be arriving post haste with Malon." Link replied in a fake ancient Hylian accent.

"That's wonderful, Link! I do know how much you hate these formal affairs, but it is important for everyone invited to attend. We have a country to run and business to attend to, and the Gala is the most important part of that," Zelda said, handing Link his weekly instructions.

Link waved his hand. "Yeah yeah, I know. Don't worry, I'll bring my tunic to the cleaner's after this," Link opened the note Zelda passed to him through the glassless window. "Ah, dodongos in the cavern...been there, done that. I have some business with the Gorons anyway. Might as well start that first. What else do we have? Wow, only three items this week?" Link raised his eyebrows.

"Well, yes...dodongos in Dodongo's Cavern have been multiplying due to the increase in volcanic activity, the Zora's are dealing with some kind of parasite they have no cure for, and while none have died from it yet, I don't want it to reach that point. Then there's the matter of Deku Scrubs in the Lost Woods...they've pretty much taken over the Sacred Grove. All in all, it should be no problem for the Hero of Hyrule," Zelda smiled.

"I'm a Hero, not a doctor. How am I supposed to get rid of this Zora parasite?" Link was indignant.

"Bring a sample to the Lakeside Laboratory. I'm sure Professor Talvani will be able to help," Zelda replied.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Again, I own nothing. Don't sue me. Thoughts are 'Sunshine rainbows happiness'. No lemons yet. Won't be for a while. I'll let y'all know. Enjoy!

CHAPTER TWO

By the time Link left the castle, Talon and his cart were gone, and the sun was just starting to set. The guards were changing shifts.

"Bye, Jerry, see you later, Olaf," Link said as he saw Jerry heading towards the castle and Olaf towards the gate.

"See you, Link," Jerry said.

"Have a good one, Link," replied Olaf.

As Link passed the gate and heard it clang shut, he ducked around the bend in the path and changed into his red tunic. He continued to Castle Town and headed into the clothing shop, run by a young woman with black hair and green eyes.

"Link! How are you? Come to buy a new tunic?" Meria, the shopkeep, greeted.

"Actually, that might not be a bad idea. A new formal tunic would be great. For now, just clean this one," Link replied, handing over his beaten, bloody, sweat-stained tunic.

"Um...Link? It would be cheaper to just buy a new tunic. Tell ya what. I've got a new tunic here in a forest green, with matching hat for 50 rupees," Meria said, eyeing Link's tunic 'Let's see...stain removal, odor removal, repair, re-dye...'

"Well, let's take a look!" Link quickly replied, eager to get out of here and to Kakariko before night fall.

Meria went to the back and returned with a plain green tunic, about two shades darker than his kelly green tunic. This was less kelly and more forest. Link liked it. A lot.

"It's perfect! I'll take it! Also, do you have anything more formal for the Gala? If I show up in my battle-worn clothes again, I'll never hear the end of it from Princess Zelda. Or my date," Link lamented.

Meria's eyes got big. "Ooh, you have a date this year?! Who's the lucky lady?" She went back to the store room.

"Malon. I'll be going with her," Link said.

"Aww, that's so nice of you to be her date. I've got JUST the thing...oh where is it...AH HA! Got it!" Meria said, while rustling hangers in the back. She quickly walked out with a tunic identical to the one he just bought, but this one had gold decorative stitching and huge green, rupee shaped rhinestones around the sleeves, neckline, and along the bottom. Also, the hat had gold stitching along the brim, and had six huge green, rupee shaped rhinestones, evenly spaced, sewn into the gold stitching.

"Total comes to 400 rupees," Meria said, placing the two items in a canvas bag.

"Yeah, ok," Link took out 20 red rupees, and placed them on the counter while taking the bag. Link left the shop, and ran out of the main gate. He ran as fast as he could to Kakariko, and got there just as night fell. He then headed to the mountain pass.

"Link, you'd better have a good reason for wanting to go up there...the volcano is so active, the tektites have abandoned the pass," Jarvis the guard warned.

"Yeah, well, I've got my Royal To-Do-List® right here, and it includes clearing out dodongos in Dodongo's Cavern," Link replied, slightly annoyed.

"WAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that's funny! Royal To-Do-List®! Go on ahead, then! WAHAHAHAHA!" Jarvis opened the gate, and Link was off.

As soon as Link hit the path, rocks started falling. He was able to dodge them easy enough, though there were a couple close calls where he had to use his shield. By the time he made it to Goron city, it was daylight.

"So, Darunia, how bad is it?" Link asked the Goron leader.

"Ah, Link, it's a tragedy! We can't get to the top sirloin rocks we've gotten used to. The salt supply is also running low near the entrance, and while that's good for profits, it's not so good for demand. You still have that Biggoron Sword, right?"

Link turned his back to Darunia.

"Ah, excellent. That should wipe those creatures out fast enough. Here, have a bomb bag and 20 bombs. Those should get you to the inner sanctum where those 'dongos have holed themselves up," Darunia said, clapping Link on the back and bringing him to his knees.

Link stood up and replied, "Yeah, no worries. I got this,"

Link headed to Dodongo's Cavern and immediately started killing Dodongos. After what felt like 12 hours, he had finally cleared out every last one of them nasty little buggers. He returned to Goron City, and went to Darunia's chamber.

"Here's your bombs back," Link offered.

"Ha ha, good one! No, Link, those are yours now! You need them way more than we do. We use bomb flowers, remember? We make bombs for the Hylian Army, and for a select few other customers. No worries! As my Sworn Brother, you are always free to purchase bombs in our shop as you need them," Darunia stated.

"Well, thanks. I best be off, now. Oh, can I ask a favor from you?" Link remembered Talon's simple request.

"Of course! Name it!" Darunia replied.

"I need about five pounds of salt. I know it's a lot to ask for, but..." Link started, but was interrupted by Darunia.

"Nonsense! I was going to pay you in rupees, but we can work this out...let's see...Gor Coron! Bring me a five pound block of the finest pink salt that we have! Then go to the treasury and fetch a single gold rupee!"

"Yes, right away, Lord Darunia!" Gor Coron rolled off into the city, and returned with the rupee and salt. "The best salt we ever mined, the 2954 batch, the last block of it! Though with the volcanic activity picking up again, I imagine we'll have a fresh supply of top quality salt within the year,"

"Very good, Gor Coron! Thank you very much! Is there anything else I can do for you, Link?"

Link smiled. "Nope, this is fine. Thank you very much for your generosity, Darunia,"

"Nonsense! You earned that! I'm sure the Princess Zelda has got other things for you to take care of, so you best be on your way. Thank you very much for helping us out with those 'dongos. Hope to see you again soon, under better circumstances!" Darunia exclaimed cheerfully.

With that, Link was off to his next destination. Only two tasks left on the list and only a few days until the Gala. It looked like Link would have to hurry as fast as possible to make it to the palace on time. Link ran to Kakariko and zoomed through the village to the stairs leading to Hyrule field.

Once in Hyrule field, Link brought out his ocarina, gifted to him by Saria when he saved Hyrule all those years ago. Link put the ocarina to his lips. He played Epona's Song. Epona came running, and stopped in front of Link. Link got on Epona and rode to the lower part of Zora's River.

"This is my stop, girl. I'll be back as soon as I can," Link said, changing into his blue tunic, then stroking Epona's mane, before jumping into the river and swimming upstream.

Link got up to the entrance of Zora's Domain and played the Song of the Royal Family, then jumped through the waterfall. He was greeted by the sight of slightly discolored Zora. 'Oh boy. This looks bad.' Link continued to the throne room.

"Link! Oh, am I glad to see you! I'd give you a hug, but...well...I don't want to give you...whatever this is..." Queen Ruto trailed off, looking at her greenish arms.

"No problem. Listen, I'm going to need two fish. One from Lake Hylia, and one from here," Link explained.

"You think it's infected the fish?" Ruto asked, horrified.

"I'm not sure. It's either in the water or your food. Seeing as how it just appeared, my guess is it's your food, and all you really eat is fish...so..."

"That makes sense, actually. We've been seeing some strange algae around here, that we haven't seen before, as well. I think it has to do with the volcanic activity at Death Mountain. Our water is warmer than usual," Ruto stated.

"I'm going to need a sample of that, as well, then," Link responded. "Luckily, I have three empty bottles. I'm going to get the fish first, then I'll come back here for the algae,"

Ruto nodded, and Link walked down past the store, and to the tide pool. He captured a fish in the bottle, and noted nothing unusual about its appearance. He then dove into the water and into the underwater tunnel leading to Lake Hylia. He surfaced, then walked around the shore until he found a fish he could capture. He got the fish in the bottle, and again, noticed nothing strange about it. Then Link dove back into Zora's Domain, and met Ruto back in the throne room. She was looking slightly worse than before. He half filled an empty bottle with water.

"Here's a sample of the algae, Link. It seems to grow mostly on the grates under the throne," Ruto explained, placing the strange algae in Link's bottle half full of water.

"Great, thanks! I'll get these samples to the Lake Laboratory right away!" Link said. Queen Ruto thanked him as Link jumped off the diving platform, and dove straight into the Lake Hylia exit.

Link surfaced and ran to the laboratory. He opened the door and walked in. "Professor Talvani. How nice to see that you are well," Link greeted the professor.

"Link! Well, the past 76 years have been kind to me, I imagine...the 20 before that were rough, but I can't complain. How can I help you?" the old man replied.

"I need a full analysis on these specimens here. Something is making the Zoras sick, and I suspect it's one of these things," Link explained.

"Ah, I see...I will see what I can do, though I must say...it has been a very long time since I've seen this type of algae...I wonder...AH! No matter! Be off with you! I have research to complete!" The professor waved at Link as he turned to his microscope.

Link left the lab, and dove back into Lake Hylia. He swam under and re-entered Zora's Domain. He then let Ruto know that he would be back in a day, hopefully with a cure. She thanked him, then Link left Zora's Domain, and jumped into the river. He followed the flow all the way back to Hyrule Field. He climbed out of the water, dried himself off, and changed into his new non-formal tunic. Then, he hopped on Epona and made it to the Kokiri Forest entrance.

Saria was standing on the bridge. "LINK! Thank the Goddesses! We really need your help. The deku scrubs all started moving into the Sacred Grove and they're EVERYWHERE! I can't even get to my favorite stump!"

"But, Saria...you don't have to worry about being attacked by forest creatures...it's not a thing that happens to forest spirits," Link reasoned.

"Nooo, that's not the problem. The problem is that there's so many of them in the maze, that they can't move around, and are unable to get to their respective holes! So they just block EVERYTHING!" Saria clarified.

"Well, that IS a problem. All right, I'll wipe them out for you, Saria. How many do you want left?" Link asked.

"Five in the maze, three guarding the Forest Temple corridor," replied Saria.

"Got it. It shall be done," said Link, running into the Kokiri forest on his way to the Lost Woods.

Once in the woods, Link was all, 'Right, left, right, left, straight, left, right' then he immediately saw the problem. These weren't angry scrubs...they were the happy sort that just overpopulated the place. They were scared of the big Hylian man wearing Kokirish clothing.

"Please, Mister, I'm Dezgi the leader of the forest scrubs. Please don't kill us..."

"Alright, Dezgi, how do you think we can solve this obvious overpopulation without anyone dying?" Link questioned the leader.

"I...I don't know...we could disperse throughout the woods, I suppose. Perhaps five or ten to a section? A few in the grottos?" suggested Dezgi.

"Yeah, let's do that. I like that. ALRIGHT LISTEN UP EVERYONE! I WANT YOU ALL TO MOVE SINGLE FILE-LIKE OUT OF THE MAZE. THREE OF YOU STAY IN THE TEMPLE CORRIDOR. FIVE STAY IN THE MAZE. THE REST OF YOU...DISPERSE THROUGHOUT THE LOST WOODS!" Link ordered.

After a time...a LONG time...hours...the deku scrubs cleared out, and found other places in the Lost Woods to occupy. It turns out, they all came from inside the Forest Temple, and decided it was too lonely there. Not knowing how to disperse the population, they just crowded together, which caused problems for all of them. A few made it to Kokiri Village, and were welcomed there.

"Link, you did it! You saved the Forest again!" Saria exclaimed.

"Yeah, I seem to do that at least once a lifetime," Link lamented.

"Will I see you again? I remember, you know...I remember everything. All the Sages do. I miss your friendship, Link," Saria sadly commented.

"Saria...I...had no idea. I remember your song. I'll play it from now on, as much as I can. I wish you could leave the forest...there's a Gala at the castle. Everyone will be there..."

"No, Link. You know we Kokiri are bound to these trees. We can't leave without dying," Saria said, giving Link a hug.

Link bent down and hugged Saria back. "I know. Once everything calms down, I'll come visit you," Link promised, as he gave his friend one last hug before returning to Hyrule Field.

Link got on Epona, and headed back to the ranch. The sun was starting to set, and he didn't feel like dealing with Stalchildren at the moment. He arrived just in time for dinner.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I do not own the Zelda universe. Please don't sue me. By the way, I have no idea what I'm doing. This story is writing itself. Also, thank you to my one loyal follower, ultimateCCC! You rock, dude!

CHAPTER 3

"Link! Welcome back! Come, sit. I just cooked this wonderful dinner," Malon exclaimed with a smile.

"Of course. Let me just go wash up, and I'll be right there," Link replied, returning her smile.

Link washed his hands and face in the kitchen, then returned to the table. He was very hungry but also eager to tell someone about his very long day.

"So, mah boy, how's the Princess these days?" Talon inquired.

"Heh, better than most of Hyrule..." Link began, and told them about the whole thing there with the Gorons and the Zora who were now green, and the Kokiri who had a problem with the deku scrubs...

"Well, now, that's quite the adventure you had. Thanks for bringing Epona back in one piece," Talon replied.

"But of course. I love that horse as my own," Link retorted. "Besides, Malon would probably hurt me in ways unimagined if I let anything happen to Epona,"

"Oh ho ho...you're right about that, lad!" Talon agreed, while Malon tried to pretend she didn't exist. Violence is very unladylike, but indeed she would resort to it if any of her horses got injured by a careless rider.

After everyone had eaten, and cleared the dishes, Link pulled out his shopping bag. "So, I uh, got a new tunic and hat today. It's a formal tunic, and it should look great with your yellow dress, Malon," Link pulled the formal tunic and hat out and placed them on the table for Malon and Talon to see.

"Wow, Link, I can't wait to see you in it! It looks amazing!" Malon exclaimed.

"Very fancy. You'll fit right in at the Gala!" Talon agreed.

"Also, Talon, I brought you a five pound block of salt...I hope it's ok..."

"Only five pounds? Ah well, let's take a look...wait...this is...no...it CAN'T be...this is not possible..." Talon was in awe of the sight before him.

"What's wrong, Talon? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Link commented.

"Well, I might have...this salt...it's part of the 2954 batch, ain't it?" Talon eyed the salt, inspecting it carefully.

"Um, yeah, Gor Coron said it's the last five pound block left...why do you ask?"

"I remember the taste of the finest salt I ever had. I was seven years old, and my father had just met with Lord Darbi, leader of the Gorons. There had been a massive explosion on Death Mountain a couple years before, an' the newly formed salt veins had just started to cool enough to be harvested. My dad could only afford so much in those days...and I never had any salt like that, before or since. It has a slightly smoky flavor that gets deep down into anything you put it on. That was the 2954 batch. Back then it sold for 30 rupees a pound! Can't imagine what this here block is actually worth...boy, tomorrow I'm gonna make a batch of the finest salted butter Hyrule has ever known! I'll have it fresh just in time for the Gala! HAW HAW HAW!" Talon was very excited now.

"Link, can I ask you something? In my room?" Malon asked, blushing slightly.

Link, noticing her blush, reluctantly agreed, and followed her to her room.

"What's up, Malon?" Link asked nervously.

"I just...ugh...I can't get over the fact that you want to take me to the Gala, and I just have to ask...is this a pity date?" Malon looked pleadingly at Link.

"Wha? What gave you THAT idea?!" Link asked incredulously.

"It's just...I heard some girls talking today during their horseback lessons...and it made me feel like maybe you're just being nice to me..." Link didn't let her finish. Instead, he leaned in, turned her face towards his, and tenderly kissed her on the lips. Their kiss lasted about 15 seconds. That's all the time Link needed to prove his point.

"Malon...sweet Malon...I've had feelings for you longer than you could possibly know. Would you like to hear the story of when we first met?" Link felt now was the time to tell someone the truth. About everything.

"Um, what do you mean, Link?" Malon was confused, though a big part of that was the amazing kiss she just received. 'Fireworks...that's what they mean when they say there were fireworks. Not literal fireworks, but bright flashes behind my eyes...wow...'

"TALON! COME IN HERE!" Link called out. Talon was in the room in two seconds.

"What is it, Link?" Talon asked.

"Okay, here's the deal...I met you both before. Before ten years ago, I mean," Link began.

"No!" "Impossible!" Talon and Malon said simultaneously.

"It's true. You can ask Zelda tomorrow if you don't believe me now. You see, it all began when I was born during a war. My mother dropped me off in the Kokiri Forest. I was raised like a Kokiri, but I didn't have a fairy, until one day, when I was about ten years old. That day, when a fairy named Navi came to me, I was summoned by the Great Deku Tree. He ordered me to kill a parasitic arachnid that had started a rot in his roots. When I did, he told me a story of how a man in black had placed a curse on him and that I needed to protect Hyrule from the man in black, and that Princess Zelda would know what to do. He told me to leave the forest, and gave me the Kokiri Emerald, but then...he died."

"What? Oh no! Then what happened?" Malon asked, intrigued by the story.

"Well, I left the Forest. Saria, my best friend at the time, gave me an ocarina I could use to contact her with before I left. Heh, yanno, I never said goodbye. I was too sad to. The Kokiri can't leave the Forest, or else they will die. So, I left the Forest that was my home and went off to Hyrule Castle. I was to sneak in, because no guards were going to let a kid into the castle, even if a giant tree did send him there,"

Malon giggled, and Talon chuckled.

Link continued, "I met you in town, Malon. You told me I had funny clothes and kept calling me Fairy Boy. You told me your father had made a delivery of milk to the castle and that you were waiting for him to come back..."

"Fairy Boy? Really?" Malon giggled.

"Yep, I've fallen asleep there at the loadin' dock lots of times," admitted Talon.

"And this time was no exception. By the time I got to the castle, night had fallen, and you, Talon, were sound asleep on the loading dock," Link smiled, then continued, "I went back to Castle Town, and Malon, you gave me a weird egg, saying that it was going to hatch a cucco that I could use to wake your father,"

"That...sounds like something I would have done as a little girl," Malon acknowledged.

"By the time I got to the castle, the egg hatched, and as the sun rose, I pulled the cucco out and it crowed, waking up Talon. Talon, you ran as fast as you could back to Malon, who was still waiting in Castle Town. Anyway, I snuck into the castle through a storm drain, got past the guards, and made it to the courtyard where Princess Zelda told me about a dream she had about a boy with a fairy emerging from the forest holding a shining green stone. She insisted that I get the Master Sword and defeat Gannondorf, this male Gerudo who matched the Deku Tree's description, and who was no more than 50 feet from me,"

"Oh my gosh! Then what happened?" Malon gasped.

"To make a long story not quite as long, I retrieved the other two Spiritual Stones, headed back to Castle Town, but then Princess Zelda burst out of the gate on a white horse, and threw a blue ocarina into the moat. Before I could get it, Gannondorf came out on a huge black horse and asked me where Princess Zelda had gone. Instead of answering him, I drew my sword and shield. Really, just a dagger and rough piece of wood,"

"You were going to fight an adult male Gerudo?!" Talon asked sharply.

"Well I was...but this guy was a wizard, and cast a spell that knocked me on my backside. He rode off into the distance, and I went to the Temple of Time with the blue Ocarina I fished out of the moat. Turns out it was the legendary Ocarina of Time. I pulled out the Master Sword, but something happened...you see, I was brought to the Sacred Realm...and Gannondorf followed me there,"

"The Ocarina of Time? You ACTUALLY had the Ocarina of TIME!?" Malon exclaimed.

"I don't much care for where this is goin'. The Sacred Realm is where the Triforce is hidden, accordin' to legend..." Talon started.

Link interrupted him, "You're exactly right. And yes, I had the Ocarina of Time, though I gave it back after this adventure. Gannondorf took the Triforce, but since I was just a child, I could not wield the Master Sword in battle. I was locked in the Sacred Realm for seven years. Malon, I didn't see you for seven years. I was given an adult body and the orders to stop Gannondorf at all costs. In order to do that I needed to awaken six Sages,"

"Alright, boy, who were these Sages?" Talon inquired.

"Well there were actually seven. Rauru was the Sage of Light, and he guarded the Sacred Realm. The Forest Sage was Saria, the Fire Sage was Darunia, the Water Sage was Princess Ruto, the Shadow Sage was Impa, the Spirit Sage was Nabooru, and the seventh Sage was Princess Zelda herself, the Sage of Wisdom. Ask any one of them. They all remember their role in saving Hyrule from a king of darkness," Link stated, noting the disbelief on his audience's faces.

"Anyway, when I left the Temple of Time, Hyrule Castle Town was in ruins and crawling with ReDead. The ranch..."

"What about the ranch?" Malon and Talon both interrupted, at the same time.

"Talon, you were sent away to Kakariko Village. You stayed at the Inn. Ingo had won Gannondorf's favor, and bought the ranch outright and fired you. Malon...you...ugh, I can't even..."

"Link...what about me?" Malon softly asked.

"Ingo was terribly abusive to you. In many ways. I don't want to get any more detailed than that," Link explained.

"Ok, so, you ended up saving Hyrule, right?" Talon asked.

"Yes. But here's where it gets tricky. After I saved Hyrule, Princess Zelda sent me back seven years into the past, where I could live a 'normal' life. All of Hyrule's memory was erased, except for the memories of mine and the Sages. That's when I flipped out, trying to find Navi, and wound up in Termina. Somehow, I got out of there alive and came back here. THAT'S when I met you for the third time in my life and the first time in yours," Link finished.

"Wow...ok, then...so...what's the point o' this?" Talon questioned.

"The point," Link paused, catching his breath, "Is that, that second time I met Malon. When I saved your ranch. THAT'S when I fell in love with her," Link concluded.

"So...an entire lifetime ago, almost..." Talon sat on Malon's bed and sighed heavily, trying to take in all this new information. "Link, let me sleep on this. It ain't that I don't believe yeh, it's just a lot to take in. Tell ya what. I'm gonna go to bed, and tomorrow, we can get ready for the Gala, an' I'm gonna have a chat with Impa when we get there. Jus' ta verify. Goodnight, Malon. Link, go to bed soon, yeah?" Talon stood up and went to his room.

"Link...oh Link..." Malon cried into Link's shoulder for a few minutes.

"Malon, it's ok...here, let's lay down. We both have a long day before the Gala," Link suggested.

"Stay with me, Link. Please," Malon pleaded.

"Alright, Malon. I won't leave you tonight," Link played little spoon, and slept better than he ever had.

The next morning, however...Talon awoke to find Link not in his bed...Link wasn't in the kitchen...or out in the barn...or, wait...no way...no...just...Talon burst through Malon's bedroom door, but couldn't get mad at the sight he saw. Link was laying on his side, fully clothed, with Talon's daughter in her night gown behind him. Both were smiling in their sleep. Talon wanted to have some fun, though...

Talon yelled, "Well isn't that cuuuute? BUT IT'S WROOOOOOONG!"

Malon woke up just as Link jumped out of the bed.

"Talon, I swear, nothing happened! Malon just needed comfort, and she didn't want me to leave, so we cuddled and fell asleep, that's all..." Link stammered.

"HAW HAW HAW! Link! Malon! You should see the looks on your faces! It's fine, really! Now come on downstairs. I've already fed the horses and started breakfast," Talon said, trying to suppress his laughter.

Link and Malon smiled at each other and blushed. Link put his hat on and went downstairs. Malon got dressed, and followed after a few minutes.

After breakfast, Link took Epona out to Lake Hylia. 'So much to do, so little time.' He walked into the Laboratory, and was greeted by Professor Talvani.

"Ah, good morning Link! I have some good news and some bad news..." Professor Talvani started.

"Give me the bad news first," Link interrupted.

"Ah, yes, you see. The Zora's Domain fish have a type of worm in them. This worm is harmless when the fish is cooked, but raw? Oh, dear...the Zora's will starve to death within the week if this goes untreated!" the professor exclaimed.

"And the good news?" Link pressed.

"Here it is!" Talvani held up the bottle of algae. "Interesting how nature gives us what we need. The volcano has warmed Zora's Domain. This gives the worms a hospitable environment to thrive in. At the same time, it gives the algae here an ideal environment to thrive in. Now, it turns out, these fish LOVE this algae. But, this algae only grows on bronze. We need to figure out a way to put bronze in the Zora's Domain fish pool...AH! But, I'm sure they can figure something out for themselves," Talvani concluded.

"Great! Thanks a lot, Professor! How much do I owe you?" Link inquired, as he picked up the empty bottles he had left with the Professor.

"Owe? You don't owe me anything! I'm happy to solve the problems of the lake! That's why I'm here! Now, off you go! Give my regards to the Princess! Oh, that's Ruto, I mean...heh heh...now begone! I must work!" Professor Talvani dismissed Link with a wave of his hand as he turned back to his microscope.

Link left the lab, and ran to Hylia's edge. He changed into his blue tunic, and dove into the water, taking the tunnel to Zora's Domain. Link then climbed out of the water, and went up to the throne room.

"Link...please...is there a cure?" a weakened and very green Princess Ruto asked.

"Yes. You need to put bronze metal in the fish pool. The algae that grows on the grates here in the throne room will kill the worms in your stomach, and it's your fish carrying the worms," Link told her.

"Oh! That makes sense! So we need to cultivate this algae and everything will be perfect once again! Thank you, Link! I'm afraid I don't have much to offer as a reward...um...I KNOW! You like rupees, right? I have two gold rupees right here! Take them both!" Ruto offered.

"Thank you, Princess. I'm just happy I could help," Link stated honestly.

"Nonsense! You just saved an entire race from extinction! That's the absolute minimum I can do for you! Now take your leave, before I offer Zora's Sapphire to you!" Ruto insisted.

Link didn't need to be told twice, and he leapt off the diving platform, not resurfacing until he reached Lake Hylia.

Finally done with his Royal To-Do-List®, Link got on Epona and raced back to the ranch to start getting ready for the Gala. 'I am SO glad that's over! Thank the goddesses Zelda gave me such a short list of problems, or I would have missed the Gala!'


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Finally, the chapter I've been waiting to write! THE GALA! Thanks to my loyal reader, ultimateCCC for his continued readership, and to my NEW follower, TheRedDragon39. I own nothing. Don't sue me. Might be some light lemon-flavored stuff at the end of this chapter. Nothing heavy, yet.

CHAPTER 4

The time of the Royal Gala was drawing near. All the chores were done. All the errands were complete. All the AAAA butter, cheese, and milk was ready to go, including the oldest cheese the ranch had to offer: a three year old cheddar. Link had Malon's ring in his pouch and was clearing out his weapon inventory, as weapons are not allowed at the Gala.

'Bomb bag, bow, all the arrows, sword, shield, longshot, megaton hammer...'

"Link? Um, where do you keep all that stuff?" Malon asked, peeking into her father's room.

"Um, I dunno...various belt loops behind my shield, under my tunic..." Link started.

Malon interrupted him, "UGH! Never mind. I don't need to know. I just need you to lace me up in back,"

"Uh, okay...I guess..." Link walked towards Malon and motioned for her to turn around.

'Wow! This dress looks amazing on her!' "Okay, hold still, now...alright, I've got the lacing done...just have to tie it up...and...done!"

Malon faced him, "Thank you, Link. I appreciate that,"

"Trust me, Malon. The pleasure was all mine. You're beautiful...truly, and that dress is...wow. You really look amazing, Malon," Link reponded.

"Link...you're not just saying that? And why are you holding yourself? Do you have to pee?" Malon innocently asked.

"Um, no, I don't have to pee...I have to change, though...do you think you could..." Link started.

"OH! Of course, Link! I'll close the door for you!" Malon quickly realized she was inhibiting Link's ability to change clothes, and closed the door then left.

'Whew, that was close...I was really getting a hard on, there.' Link quickly took off his battle tunic and hat, and put on his fancy formal tunic and hat, along with black tights instead of his usual white ones. He finished off the look with his freshly waxed boots. He looked in the mirror. 'Well, it'll have to do. I don't look half as good as Malon, but meh...' He slipped Malon's ring into his belt pouch, and left the room.

Link stepped into the main living area, where Talon and Malon stood. Talon was wearing the typical black suit with white ruffled collar and black patent leather shoes with silver buckles. Malon, of course, was wearing her yellow dress.

"Well, don't WE look all fancy? Ok, everybody to the wagon! We gotta get to the castle before dark, an' it's almost 3 now!" Talon announced, as they all piled into the large wagon they were sharing with three large crates.

Just as they were leaving the ranch, a parade of Gorons led by Darunia and Zora (who weren't nearly as green as before, but obviously not 100% their normal blue complexion) led by Princess Ruto approached from the direction of Kakariko Village, and a parade of Gerudo led by Nabooru crossed right in front of the ranch on horses.

"And what have we here? Link? Wow, you clean up well. I take it you are accompanying my niece and her father?" Nabooru inquired.

"Yes. Malon is my date for the night," Link proudly stated.

"Malon is a very lucky woman to have such a handsome man by her side at an event such as this one," Nabooru stated, then whispered to Link, "You hurt her, I'll kill you," Malon blushed.

Link whispered back, "I'd rather die than hurt Malon,"

Nabooru nodded and smiled, then rode ahead to the city gate with her tribe.

There was a long line of people trying to get into the castle for the Gala. It was already 4:45 P.M., according to the gossip stones. The line ended at the well, but was moving fairly quickly. Talon had a vendor's pass, so they got to ride ahead of the crowd, but that also meant they'd be entering through the service entrance.

Impa greeted those at the service entrance, including Guru-Guru the phonograph man, Anju the cucco lady, and the two potion dealers. After those four people went in, Link helped Malon out of the cart, and while he was unloading the milk, butter, and cheese crates, Talon slipped out of earshot with Impa.

"Impa, Link told me an' Malon a disturbin' story last night, an' I'm wonderin'..."

"Yes, Talon, Link did indeed save Hyrule as the Hero of Time. As young as he looks, he's actually 37 years old, and has seen horrors you cannot imagine,"

"So...he's actually capable of dealin' with these errands the Princess has him runnin' all the time?" Talon asked.

"Talon, there is literally nothing that he's dealing with now that he couldn't have dealt with as a ten year old boy," Impa smirked.

"Well...that's...quite a shock to the ol' system..."

"Worry not. There is literally nothing to fear. Your daughter is in excellent hands. Link will take care of her, and yes, I know what weighs heavy on your mind. Everything will be as it should be, have no fear about that. Link has a destiny, yes, and the prophecies will be fulfilled, but not for a very long time," Impa consoled.

"Hoo, boy, I tell ya, that sure is a relief. Thanks, Impa. I better help get this stuff to the banquet hall," Talon explained.

"You know where it is. Show Link the way, he can help you. I see he's wearing his golden gauntlets," Impa smiled.

Just then, a stack of crates with legs appeared behind Talon. "Where do you want these, Talon?"

"What in tarnation?! Put those dow- you know what? Impa, can you take Link to the banquet hall?"

Impa laughed, "Follow me, Link. I'll show you where those go,"

Talon looked at his daughter, "C'mon. Let's go meet Princess Zelda,"

After thanking Impa for showing him the way, Link set up the spread: the crates folded inside out to form tables. This was an idea Malon had for setting up stalls in the market. One crate contained salted butter and crackers, one crate contained three year old cheddar and crackers, and the last crate contained the finest 2% milk anyone ever tasted. Link was quite satisfied with his set up, and so went to find Malon.

Malon, it turned out, was talking to the five Sages who turned out to be taking up the same 20 square feet of floor space, and they were all laughing.

"So, Link bested the Gerudo? And Darunia, you actually named your son after him?! And he...he was supposed to marry a Zora? This is almost too much!"

"Ha ha, I KNOW! Can you imagine? Me? Princess of the Zora? Actually MARRYING a Hylian? Oh, Goddesses! Our children would have been freaks!" Ruto squealed while laughing and clutching her stomach.

"Ah, but it was an honor to fight alongside Brother Link. He has the soul of a warrior!" Darunia clarified.

"Indeed. He fought hard and honorably. Which is how he was able to get through Gerudo Fortress. He could have been an excellent mate, worthy of the love of a Gerudo," Nabooru added.

"It's alright, I am more than happy with a half-Gerudo," Link walked up to Malon, put his arm around her waist, spun her around and kissed her mouth, which was open in surprise. After about ten seconds, Princess Zelda walked up to the podium in the back of the hall.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I wish to first and foremost thank you for coming to the Palace Gala. For those of you who have never been invited before, welcome! We only hold the Gala every five years, so many of you have just come of age and are able to join us. I love how the Kingdom is growing so rapidly, after 10 years of decline, and I think we all know who to thank for that. Link, please join me up here!"

Link stepped up to the podium, got on one knee and bowed his head, in the traditional Royal greeting. "Princess, it is an honor to serve the Kingdom of Hyrule as your Royal Messenger,"

"Link has served the Royal Family for many years. He has been my personal Messenger for the past ten years!" Then Zelda bent down and whispered to Link, "30 years, but who's counting?" Link stifled a giggle as she stood straight and continued her speech. "As such, he has earned this title I am about to bestow upon him. Link! I now, by the power vested in me, name you Sir Link, Knight of Hylia!"

The crowd cheered loudly as Zelda touched Link's shoulders with her ceremonial sword, and pinned the Hylian Crest on his tunic when he stood up. She whispered, "You may want to put that pin on your OTHER tunic at some point,"

"Nah. I'll keep it in a box under my bed," Link whispered back.

Zelda whispered her reply, "Most Hylian Knights do,"

"SPEECH!" Darunia shouted.

"I would like to thank all of you for being here to witness this event. I truly wasn't expecting to be made a Hylian Knight...I'm most honored,"

"YOU EARNED IT!" Ruto shouted.

Link continued, "Thank you. Though I must say. You're biased." The crowd laughed, then Link started again, "It seems that my life has been chosen for me by the Hyrule Royal Family. But there is one aspect of my life that is not in their control. And now, I would like to say something to Malon: When we first met, I was intrigued. By the time I saw you for the second time, I knew. I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Malon. Will you marry me?" Link held up the burgundy ring box, and Malon ran to the podium and leapt into Link's arms.

"Yes! YES! Oh Goddesses, YES!" Malon cried.

"I think those sounds come later, Malon..." Zelda smirked.

"Well, put the ring on. Does it fit?" Link said, trying to suppress a laugh at Zelda's innuendo.

"Link, it's PERFECT! Wait..."

Nabooru and the other Sages had made their way up to the podium, though Nabooru got there before the others... "I recognize that ring!" She and Malon exclaimed, in unison.

"Talon gave it to me to give to you. I hope that's okay..." Link said, worried.

Nabooru shook her head, smiling, "Link, it is tradition among the Gerudo for the daughter to receive the mother's engagement ring upon being engaged. This is absolutely perfect! General Abeeru would have been most pleased that Malon has picked such a wonderful husband,"

"Well, this calls for a celebration! Let's PARTAY!" Darunia announced.

Link and Malon smiled and nodded at one another, before heading over to the snack tables hand in hand to join the others.

"Wow, this butter is AMAZING! Darunia, you have to try it!" Impa exclaimed.

"Hmm, slight smoky flavor...AH! Talon, you've used the special salt in this! Wow! I honestly had no idea that mere salt could make such a huge difference!" Darunia noted.

"Special salt?!" Many voices said at once.

"Heh heh, yeah...Link brought me back some 2954 salt, an' so I used it for the butter. Still have a few pounds left, thank the Goddesses," Talon replied, blushing.

With that, everyone crowded around and attacked the butter table, grabbing crackers and butter.

"Oh HO! Link! I thought you wanted the salt for yourself! In that case, we'll have to deliver MORE 2954 salt to Talon!" Darunia exclaimed.

"Wait, I thought that was your last five pound block?" Link asked.

"It was indeed! We still have ten, twenty, and sixty pound blocks available, though! Had I known it was for someone else, I would have given you the five pound block AND a ten pound block! HAW HAW! You sure pulled a trick on ol' Darunia!"

"How can there be so much 2954 left in the world?" Talon asked incredulously.

"It's simple. The finest salt commands the finest price. Forty years it has been since 2954. When we first started selling the salt, we thought nothing of it and charged 5 rupees a pound, as if we would any other salt. After a few days, though, demand for 'pink-grey' salt skyrocketed! We were selling one, three, and five pound blocks like crazy! Soon, we were out of the one and three pound blocks. The price jumped to 30 rupees a pound. For SALT! We could hardly believe it! We sold all but one of the five pound blocks, and by then, the price was too high for most people to afford. The Royal Family became the only customer, and since their last order was 120 pounds, well, I imagine they haven't used nearly all of of it, even though that order was twenty years ago..." Darunia answered.

"So, wait...how much is a sixty pound block worth, now?" Link asked.

"HAW HAW HAW! Right now, the going rate is no less than a purple rupee per pound!" Darunia laughed, knowing even a Giant Wallet couldn't hold enough rupees to purchase a sixty pound block.

"So, why not break some of the bigger blocks into smaller blocks, so you can sell more salt?" Ruto asked.

"Well, that is a thought...however, when you break salt, you always lose a few ounces. This salt is far too precious to waste. We wasted about thirty pounds making the one pound blocks! Once we realized how popular it was, we stopped breaking it down for fear of waste," Darunia explained, helping himself to some cheese.

"Wow! This cheese is AMAZING! Even better than rocks! What is the secret to such strong flavor?" Darunia excitedly asked.

"Well, we've been aging that cheese for three years...this is all there is. I mean, we could make another batch, but it won't be ready for another three years," Malon explained.

"THREE YEARS!? So, you can only sell this cheese every three years? How can you profit from such a thing?" Darunia questioned.

"Well, it's like this. The longer you age cheese, the more mold it grows, so the less cheese you have at the end of the process. I can make a pound of cheddar every 18 months. I can make two pounds of cheddar every year. Or, I can start with a ten pound block of cheese and have three pounds of cheese at the end of three years, which is what I did here," Talon explained. "This here cheese isn't for sale. Yet. I wanted to test the waters, so to speak. See if it was somethin' people would be willin' ta buy. I've had offers for 40 rupees a pound, an' honestly? I couldn't see mahself chargin' much less 'n that, what with all that goes inta makin' it. Compare that to the 18 month that's currently our best seller, which goes fer 15 rupees a pound," Talon answered.

"A bargain at twice the price!" Zelda exclaimed. "I would like to place a pre-order for twenty pounds of this cheese, and will give you a down payment of 500 rupees now, with 300 rupees to be paid in three years upon delivery,"

"Well, now, you've got yerself a deal, Princess!" Talon shook Zelda's hand, and took the full Giant Wallet she handed to him.

"Oh! Listen! Malon, the band is playing your song! Let's dance!" Link exclaimed, grabbing Malon's hand and leading her to the dance floor. Link put his hands around her waist, and Malon put hers on Link's shoulders. They danced slowly to Epona's Song.

"Did you set that up?" Talon asked Princess Zelda.

"I may have pulled a few...strings..." Zelda replied with a smirk.

'This is...wow...I can't believe how beautiful she is! I'm the luckiest guy in Hyrule!'

'His hands feel so good around my waist...and look at his beautiful eyes! He's so...perfect! Why did he choose me?'

Link put his forehead against hers. "Malon? Are you alright?"

"Link...I'm perfect. Everything is perfect,"

"I know. I was just thinking the same thing,"

"The song stopped..."

And so did time, as Link stopped dancing and kissed Malon full on the lips in the middle of her sentence. The two just stood there with their arms around each other and their faces pressed together, content with just tasting each other's mouths. Then the cheering began, as all of Hyrule rejoiced in their love for one another.

At the end of the Gala, Princess Zelda said goodbye to each and every guest as they left the castle. Link and Malon walked slowly to the exit, not wanting the night to end, and so walked out last.

"Link, may I just say, this was the most wonderful Gala we've ever had, and you had a big part in making it special," Princess Zelda said.

"Princess, I only serve you. Anything that needs to be done throughout the kingdom shall be done in its best interest, by your orders," Link replied.

"Link...be with your future bride. I have no errands for next week that others can't handle. Please. Take some time off. If I need anything, I will send word. However, if I hear of you on the castle grounds before I have sent for you, I will have my guards escort you back to Castle Town. Do I make myself clear?" Zelda warned.

Link gulped. "Yes, my Princess,"

"Good. Now go to her, Link," Zelda ordered.

Link turned to the path, and caught up to Malon who was standing about ten yards ahead.

"Are we ready to go now?" Malon asked impatiently.

"I have my orders," Link replied.

Malon sighed, "Of course you do. What is it this time? Trouble in Gerudo Valley?"

"No...I've been told to not do anything but attend to you, unless I hear otherwise,"

"She's ordering you to take a vacation?!" Malon squealed with joy.

"That's about the size of it," Link replied.

"Come on, let's go home before she changes her mind! Race you home!" Malon ran through the gate, ran through Castle Town, ran over the drawbridge, and ran to the ranch with Link right next to her.

"Well, look who decided ta walk home...except, Malon...have yeh been runnin'? In that dress?"

"To be fair, Talon, we were BOTH running," Link answered as Malon struggled to catch her breath.

"HAW HAW HAW! Of course ya were! Couldn't wait ta get home, could ya? Although if that were the case, you'd a left with me an' rode on the wagon," Talon reasoned. "Ah, never mind. You two go off and git changed. We gotta make some cheese before bed! I got a hundred gallons of milk needin' ta be staged! Link, yer family now. You can help. Malon'll show ya what to do,"

Malon and Link changed clothes, then headed over to the latest addition to the ranch. A large barn-like structure had been built on the south east corner of the property, which was where the cheese and butter were made. Once inside, Malon lit a few lanterns.

"Ok, Link. What we need to do is, empty all the bottles in these crates into this marble vat, then cover the vat with this wooden lid," Malon explained.

"Um, that's gonna take a while..." Link realized.

"Yep! So, let's get started!"

Link started opening the crates, and as he opened them, Malon started opening bottles of milk and emptying them into the vat. Once Link was done opening the crates, he too started opening bottles and pouring them into the vat. After a while, the vat was full, and Link and Malon picked up the lid and placed it over the vat.

"That wasn't so bad," Link recalled.

"Well, maybe not to someone who has saved Hyrule from a dark lord...but for the average farmer..." Malon ribbed.

Link pulled her close to himself, and wrapped his arms around her. She gave him a startled look.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" Link asked.

"I-I'm really not...I don't wear makeup. I don't have a huge chest. I'm just a simple farm girl..." Malon argued.

"Really? That's not what I see. I see a woman who doesn't need makeup to look beautiful. I see a woman who has all the right curves..." Link paused as he moved his hands down her waist, over her thighs, and up to the side of her chest, before resting back at her waist, then continued, "In all the right places. I see a woman with the brightest blue eyes and hair as fiery as her spirit. With the cutest freckles..." Link kissed her cheeks and nose, where Malon's freckles were most prominent, "And with the most delicate features one could ever find in any woman. That's what I see," Link finished his speech.

'Oh...my Goddesses...I'm so hot right now...I need him! Oh, but we can't...not yet...not until we're married...wait...' "Link?"

"Yes, love, what is it?"

"I-I...I need..."

"Tell me, love...what do you need?"

"I need...this..." Malon whined, placing Link's hand over her womanhood.

"Malon...we cant!" Link reasoned.

"Not all the way...but...I need release. I need to feel...something..." Malon elaborated.

"Ah, I see...I don't see any harm in me having a little taste," Link sat down in front of Malon, and put her skirt over his head.

"LINK! What on earth are you...oh...oh my...Link...whatever you're doing...don't stop...Oh Goddesses. What is this? This must...oh, wow...Link...Ah! Link! LIIIIINNNNK!" Malon screamed as she reached her orgasm and held Link's head between her thighs. She thrusted a couple times into his face then helped him stand up.

"Link! What the...? What was that?" Malon panted.

"Malon...you taste wonderful. Like oranges and cream. And you're so beautiful down there...like a pink flower. I can hardly wait until we're married, Malon. I'm going to be the happiest man in the world!" Link stated.

"Kiss me, Link..." Malon started.

"Uh, are you sure? I mean, you're going to taste...you..." Link hesitated.

"Kiss me. Now." Malon insisted, pressing her mouth on his.

"Mmmph!" Link tried to talk, but his lips were busy.

"You know, Link...you're right. Oranges and cream. Interesting," She turned and left the barn, leaving Link standing there, stunned into silence.

Eventually, Link left the barn, and walked back to the house. Malon was nowhere in sight. Link walked to the kitchen, and washed his face in the wash basin, then emptied it out the window. He took a pitcher out to the well, and filled it, then refilled the washbasin with fresh water. Then he went up to his room. Talon was still awake.

"What're ya doin' in here?" Talon asked.

"Um, getting ready for..."

"The hell is wrong with you?! Yer engaged! Go! Cuddle! Enjoy each other's company! Hell, as long as ye don't git her pregnant, I don't care WHAT ye do! Just...SHOO!" Talon chastised.

Link was shocked. "Um, alright...if you insist..."

"Oh I insist! Go ta yer woman!" Talon definitely insisted.

Link knocked on Malon's door.

"Come in!" she replied.

Link opened the door. "Um. Your dad said I should sleep here tonight..."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Ok, so this story is progressing nicely. To let my readers know, there won't be any 'non-pregnancy potions' in this story. There won't be any premarital coitus in this story...which isn't to say other sex acts won't take place before Link and Malon get married. I don't own anything. Don't sue me. Please. Thank you. This is a smut chapter, unimportant to the story. Feel free to skip it if you wish.

CHAPTER 5

Malon smiled, and patted the mattress. "Come join me, then. But no clothes allowed,"

Link removed his tunic and tights, then joined Malon in her bed. "So, are you naked too?"

"Of course. I told you. No clothes allowed. Not since we're engaged." Malon answered, straddling her fiance, her breasts in his face, and her crotch rubbing against his stiffening manhood.

"Um, Malon? Um, you're...really...beautiful. And...um, I'm getting really...horny," Link attempted to explain his predicament.

"Oh? Let me see!" Malon flipped around, shoving her butt into Link's face. "Mmm...that's...really nice. Wow, Link. You're really beautiful down here! It's so long, and thick! And these balls...oh...they're so big! How do you keep this hidden?" Malon wondered aloud.

"Um, well, heh, the tunic helps a lot..." Link explained, but trailed off. "Malon, I'm really enjoying the view here. You have a great butt!"

"Remember earlier, when you licked me?" Malon mischievously asked.

"Yes..." Link answered, not sure where this was going.

"I want to do that again. But while I do the same for you," Malon finished, sitting on Link's face, her womanhood over his mouth, and her mouth and hands on his manhood.

"Mmff!" Link managed, before his lips and tongue licked and sucked all around her femininity. Then, he discovered her clitoris with his tongue.

"YES! Right there, Link!" Malon exclaimed, positioning herself to give Link easier access to that spot, as she swallowed a good six inches of his shaft, swirling her tongue around it. Link put his hands on her butt, and explored those perfectly formed buns, marveling at their soft firmness. He slipped a finger into the crevice and prodded around her butthole, which twitched in response to the gentle touch of his finger. Link's finger continued down to her nether lips, where it slipped between them, and gently explored her opening. He found a rough patch of tissue and applied pressure to that spot.

"MMMFF!" Responded Malon, overwhelmed with pleasure, as she sped up her ministrations on the eight inch rod in her mouth. Suddenly, she started feeling something thick and wet in her mouth, and it was coming from Link Junior. Then, she had the biggest orgasm of her life.

Link found himself getting splashed with some kind of liquid. 'Is this pee? No, it tastes like oranges and cream. Wait...did she...women squirt?! How? Oh, this requires RESEARCH!'

Link decided that the first thing he was going to do in the morning was go to a sex expert and learn the secrets of being the perfect lover for his future bride. He wanted more of what he got tonight, and wasn't confident that he knew enough to get this reaction every time. He wanted Malon to feel that good. Every time. She deserved it. He needed her to be satisfied in every aspect of their lives together. He only had three months until the wedding, according to the ancient traditions, and he wanted the PERFECT marriage. In order to have the perfect marriage, he had to be the PERFECT lover. He was certain that she already was.

Malon flipped around and kissed Link passionately, giving him a surprise while she was at it. "Now we're even," Malon grinned evilly.

"What the...what is this?" Link spit out a white substance into his palm, that while not entirely unpleasant, was very unexpected.

"That is Essence of Link. I sucked that out of you," Malon hinted.

"Heh, you know, it's not bad," Link replied.

"I know! It took a lot of willpower not to swallow that last bit. If you don't want it, I'll take it back," Malon smiled.

Link put the glob back in his mouth, and gave Malon a kiss. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, and she sucked it clean. They ended the kiss.

"Mmm...Link...that was so nice...I've never cum that hard before! How did you do that?" Malon asked.

"Honestly? I have no idea," Link bowed his head, and frowned.

"Hey. Look at me," Malon gently lifted his chin with her hand.

Link looked into the liquid sapphire eyes of his future bride. "I'm sorry, Malon...I don't know how I was able to give you that amount of pleasure. But I want to know. I need to know. I need for you to have that pleasure every time we're sexual together. Because you deserve it,"

Malon gasped in shock. That was the single most amazing thing she had ever heard, and was even more amazed that it was meant for her! Who would have thought that anyone could value her, a simple farm girl, so much as to put her on so high a pedestal? Who would have thought that Link, the most attractive, strongest, most selfless man in all of Hyrule, would have been the one to put her there? This was too much for her. "Link...I...I...can't do this. I don't deserve you. I...need to leave. Now!"

Malon jumped out of bed, threw her work clothes on, and before Link could react, she was out the door. By the time Link realized what just happened, horse hooves could be heard outside, passing by the house. Link jumped out of bed, threw his clothes on, grabbed his sword and shield, and yanked the bedroom door open. Talon was outside the door.

"So, you heard it too, eh? Damn horse escaped..." Talon started.

Link interrupted him, "No, not just a horse. Malon. With a horse. Probably Epona,"

"What in tarnation?! What didja do to make her run off in th' middle o' the night?!" Talon exclaimed.

"I...honestly...don't know...but I think I know where she went. Let me take care of this. This is between Malon and I," Link pleaded.

"Yeh, ok. I need my sleep. Lotsa work ta do, if Malon's gonna be missin'," Talon tiredly mumbled before going back to bed.

Link ran down the stairs and out the front door. He ran out of the ranch, and into Hyrule Field. Link ran and ran, running past Stalchildren, and did not stop running until he reached Gerudo Valley. Sure enough, there was Epona standing on the other side of the bridge.

'Great...now I'm going to have to explain my side of the story to a bunch of violent women, who see themselves as Malon's sisters...Goddesses help me.' Link continued into the compound, where he was greeted by none other than General Aveil.

"Give me one good reason not to strike you down right where you stand!" She glared at Link.

"Where is Malon?" Link loudly questioned.

"Do NOT take that tone with me, boy! If you do not leave this place right now, I will be forced to remove your head from your neck!" Aveil threatened.

"AVEIL! Let him through!" commanded Nabooru, who appeared behind the angry General.

"Very well, Lady Nabooru. I apologize for my ungraciousness," Aveil stood aside and Nabooru took Link by the hand.

"I have heard many things from Malon. Consider this forced couple's counseling. You are both inexperienced, and probably scared. There are things that must be spoken of," Nabooru explained, leading Link into the Gerudo Training Grounds.

Malon was sitting on a pillow, in the middle of the floor of the first chamber. Two more pillows were on the floor. Nabooru sat on one of the pillows, Link took the other pillow, across from Malon, facing her.

Nabooru started, "Now then. Malon. Tell me how you feel about Link,"

"W-well...I love him more than anything in the world..."

Nabooru stopped her there, "Okay, good! Link! How do you feel about Malon?"

"I love her more than Hyrule. More than the sun or moon. More than the stars in the sky. More than words can express,"

Nabooru was taken aback. "W-wow...I can only hope for love like that...that is a very rare type of love...Malon, you are very lucky,"

"I-I know. That's why I'm scared. I don't feel like I deserve that much love. Especially from someone as special as Link," Malon sadly stated.

Nabooru put a hand on Malon's back. "Dear child, whether or not you deserve it is irrelevant. That is what is being GIVEN to you. It is a GIFT. Love is not a gift you can refuse. It is a gift that can only be given back, and when you give it back, it only returns to you. You cannot escape it. You can only cherish it. If you throw it away, you will only hurt yourself,"

"No! I don't want to lose it! I just don't know how to deal with it!" Malon exclaimed.

"Hmm, I see. Link, how do you think Malon should deal with your love for her?" Nabooru asked.

"I don't know. I've never loved anyone this much before, either. It's kind of scary for me too, but I've also been inside the Shadow Temple. I've lived through death in Termina. I feel like I could take on 100 Shadow Temples if Malon were to love me forever, and be by my side. I just want her to stay with me. I want her to not leave me. Ever," Link answered softly, with tears in his eyes.

"Malon. You want to be a perfect lover for Link, right?" Nabooru questioned.

"Yes. I want that more than anything. I've been taught how to be the best wife possible, but I was never taught...you know..." Malon blushed.

"I don't know how to be a good husband, but I know how to be a good provider. I know how to be a good father, thanks to the Deku Tree. But yeah...I don't know much else...and there's so much I want to learn..." Link stated.

"Ok, this is going to be unconventional to your minds, but...trust me on this. Take off your clothes. Both of you," Nabooru commanded. Link and Malon stood and removed their clothing, then sat back down.

"Ok, good. Malon, spread your legs. Link, go to Malon. I'm going to show you how a woman's body works, ok? Don't worry, Malon will get her turn with you, and trust me...it gets more awkward," Nabooru proclaimed, with a smirk, as she straddled Malon from behind with her arms around the younger woman. "Alright Link...look here. See this little nub right above Malon's flower?" Nabooru inquired.

"Um, yes..." Link blushed at the situation.

"Good. That's a very sensitive place. Had she been born male, that would have been her penis. Do you understand what that means?" Nabooru revealed.

"Yes. That means it feels really good when I touch, lick, or suck it," Link guessed.

"Exactly. Now. Give me your hand. Your first two fingers. Isolate them." Nabooru ordered.

Link made the V sign with his hand, then closed the V.

"Perfect. Now. Palm up, gently put your fingers inside Malon," Nabooru commanded. Once Link was about two knuckles in, she ordered, "STOP! Now. Curl your fingers upward,"

Link did. "Wait. I felt this before. What is this?"

Malon moaned in extreme pleasure.

"THAT, dear boy, is the G-spot. You touch that, and you will get wet. Every time. Guaranteed," Nabooru explained. "Now, Malon. It's your turn. Link, get your fingers out of Malon, stand up, and spread your legs," Nabooru ordered.

Link did, and Malon groaned.

"Malon, there'll be plenty of time for Link to send you over the moon with pleasure later. This is a learning experience. Had you grown up here in the fortress, this would have been taught to you by the time you were ten! Now you must suffer," Nabooru chastised, light heartedly.

"Now then. This is a penis. A mighty fine one, but a penis," Nabooru explained, holding Link's manhood in her hand. "This is the foreskin. When the man gets hard, the foreskin retracts, like this," Nabooru retracted Link's foreskin, "and reveals the head. Now look here, at the underside of the head. This is the frenulum. Malon, I want you to very gently touch the frenulum," Nabooru coached.

"Like this?" Malon asked, gently holding Link's penis, and rubbing the underside of the head with her thumb. Link started to stiffen. "Oh! I guess I'm doing it right!" Malon exclaimed.

"I agree," stated Link, moaning.

"Now then, you can also use your tongue on that spot, though anywhere on a man's penis enjoys being licked. Men also like it when you tug lightly on their testicles. Link's testicles are rather big, so try one per hand while you explore his penis with your tongue," Nabooru described.

"Oh, Malon...wow...this feels amazing!" Link managed between groans.

"Link, how close are you to orgasm?" Nabooru asked.

"Really close...so close..." Link responded, barely.

"Malon. Stick a finger up his butt and press downward. Sounds weird and gross, but trust me," Nabooru ordered.

Malon did, and was rewarded with a mouthful of semen.

"Wha-what just happened?" Link and Malon asked in unison, completely shocked.

"Simple. Malon, you milked Link's prostate. The prostate is where seminal fluid is produced. Link, you had a prostate orgasm. It's almost day break. You two should sleep here. I'll have a room set up for you, and feel free to practice what you have learned. You're welcome," Nabooru stated plainly.

"Thank you. For everything. I don't know how to repay you," Link lamented.

"Yes, thank you so much. If there's ever anything I can do...wait...I CAN do something! Keep Valindar for another week. For free. Please," Malon offered.

"My child. Valindar is a fine horse. Honestly, that is a very generous offer, but we have no more need for him, and as daybreak is close at hand, he will be returned upon your leaving. Link, you'll want to ride back to the ranch alongside your lover, will you not?" Nabooru theorized.

"Yes, that would be nice...we've never ridden together, before..." Link stated, his thoughts far away.

"Come. Get dressed. Your bed awaits. Do try to get SOME sleep before heading off," Nabooru winked as she led the mostly clothed young couple to the chamber she had equipped with the finest bed and silks.

"Wow...this is..." Malon started.

"Yes, the best silks that we have. Worry not about stains, those wash right out. I do recommend sleeping unclothed. That's the best way to enjoy silk sheets. Try to get some sleep, now, hmm?" Nabooru finished as she left the two lovers alone, as they removed their clothes.

"I came. You didn't. But now I know how to make sure you do," Link told Malon, before he dove under the sheets, and started practicing his new skills.

"Oh...Link! Yes! Oh! Right there! Yes! YEAAHHH! Oh goddesses...yes! Oh...AGAIN!? Oh! Oh! AHHH! Oh, Link! Enough...enough...hah...oh...wow...Link..." Malon panted.

"Mmm...twice in a minute...that was amazing!" Link noted.

"Yes, it was...hold me please?" Malon turned to her left side, away from Link.

"I'll be big spoon, anytime," Link responded, snuggling against Malon's back, his half hard member resting between her perfect butt.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I own nothing. Thank you for being loyal readers. Thank you for tolerating this story. No idea what this chapter will be about. Had no idea the last chapter would be so dirty. Let's see where this goes, shall we? Don't sue me.

CHAPTER 6

Link and Malon woke up at the cucco's crow. They stared at each other for a few seconds and smiled.

"Morning, my beautiful, loving, Malon," Link gushed.

"Good morning, my sweet, handsome Link," Malon giggled.

"Let's get up and get Valindar and Epona back to the ranch, shall we?" Link suggested.

"Oh, absolutely! Wouldn't want to keep father waiting with all the chores, would we?" Malon agreed.

Link threw off the covers, and jumped out of the comfy bed. Malon stared at him.

"What is it?" Link asked.

"I still can't believe that this sexy man standing before me is all mine," Malon explained softly.

Link walked to her bedside, and offered his hand. She grasped it with her own, and suddenly found herself on her feet. "EEK!" She squealed, surprised by the sudden movement of her person.

"Hey. It's ok. I've got you. I'm not letting you go. Figuratively speaking. I have to let you go so we can get to the ranch. That's beside the point. Malon..." He trailed off and kissed her passionately. She kissed him back with just as much passion. "Alright, Malon. Let's get dressed and head to the ranch," He reached around her and smacked her playfully on her nude butt.

"Ooh, I kind of liked that, Link," Malon jeered.

Link was putting on his tights. "Well, we can experiment with that a bit later. Right now, we need to go back and help Talon with any chores he hasn't done," Link replied, now pulling on his tunic and slipping his boots on.

Malon sighed, and pulled her work clothes on, knowing that yes, there would be plenty of happy fun time later.

Link went to the horseback archery range and picked up Valindar. He guided Valindar back to the Fortress entrance where Malon and Epona were waiting.

"Let's get out of here, Malon," Link suggested, climbing on Valindar's back.

"Definitely. I wonder what still needs to be done?" Malon wondered aloud, climbing on Epona.

The happy couple leisurely rode alongside one another across Hyrule Field.

"So, Malon...um, I really liked having your finger in my butt...do you think you could do that some more?" Link started.

"Oh Link. Anything that makes you happy. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel," Malon giggled. "You know, I might let you explore MY butt, too sometime,"

"Really? I mean, I don't want to force that..." Link hesitated.

"Link, seriously. Before you showed up, Nabooru was explaining to me some of the unconventional ways of pleasure. That was really the only one that sounded like something I would seriously consider," Malon explained.

"Well, if you want to try it, sure, we can try it," Link smiled.

"Aww, we're here already. Let's get to work!" Malon announced as they reached the ranch.

"There ya are! Everythin' alright with you two?" Talon asked.

"Everything's fine, Daddy. Perfect, in fact. What needs to be done? Link and I can take care of anything you haven't done yet," Malon suggested.

"Well, about the only thing I did was feed the animals an' milk the cows. Stables need shovelin', horses an' cows need brushin', butter needs churnin', then the rest o' the day is yours," Talon said. "As fer me, I'm gonna start makin' lunch,"

"I'll hit the stables and brush the cows. Malon, you can brush the horses. We can both churn the butter, and that'll give us time to explore each other, too," Link advised.

"Yeah, that sounds good, Link," Malon agreed.

Malon started bringing the horses out to the corral for brushing, while Link got the shovel and started cleaning out the stalls. After all the horses were brought outside, and all the stalls were clean, and the manure packed in barrels to be sold as fertilizer, Link tried to find a brush for the cows. He walked out to Malon in the corral.

"Hey, Malon, where's the cow brush?" Link asked.

"It's not in the tack room?"

"Oh...right. I thought it would be by the cow bucket...never mind, I'll find it," Link replied, walking back to the barn and going into the tack room. 'Bingo!' Link took the brush and brushed the cows, one by one. He also filled a couple of his bottles with fresh milk. 'Well, that's a hundred rupees well-spent!' he thought. He went into the house.

"Talon! I filled up a couple bottles of milk for myself!" Link called out.

"Well, that's just fine, Link," Talon replied.

"I left five reds on the table," Link stated.

"Yeh, ok...wait...you did WHAT now?" Talon panicked.

"Fifty rupees a bottle...that was the agreed price...remember?"

"Yeh, BEFORE you were about to be mah son in law! No, no, no. You take that money back, right now! An' go back outside! Ain't no way all them chores 'r' done yet!" Talon insisted.

"Thanks, Talon...you sure about that? I mean I am an extra mouth..." Link was interrupted.

"Yer money ain't no good here now that my daughter's about ta be yer wife! Git that money off th' table, an' git back to work!"

Link went back outside, and met Malon by the cheese shack.

"There you are! I just got done with the horses, and you just disappeared. Where were you?"

"I was trying to pay for a couple bottles of milk I took from the cows, but your dad was all, yer family, you ain't gotta pay for no milk! Or something to that effect," Link explained as they shared a laugh.

"That's hilarious! Let's go in and make some butter, ok, Link?"

"Sounds like a plan, Malon," Link agreed.

Inside the shack, Link and Malon each emptied a milk can into one of two butter churns. Malon decided to explain to Link the best way of churning butter.

"Okay, Link. What you want to do is pound the pole up and down while twisting it left and right,"

"Wouldn't it be easier with a wheel on top of the pole?" Link asked.

"Well...probably?" Malon responded, wondering why she never thought of such a thing.

"Here, I can fix this," Link said, as he left to go to the wood shed. Link grabbed the roundest large log he could find. It was about ten inches in diameter. Using the Biggoron Sword, Link cut off two three quarter inch thick slices, and went to the barn. He found a brace and bit in the tack room, and drilled the center out of the two log slices, then took the newly drilled slices and grabbed a mallet, and went back to the cheese shack. He kissed Malon on the cheek swiftly, then used the mallet to force the log slices onto the churn poles.

"Wow...Link...that was a really great idea! I can't believe I never thought of that!" Malon exclaimed.

"Two heads are better than one. With you and I, this ranch will be unstoppable!" Link boasted.

"I love you so much, my hero," Malon gushed, as she churned the butter.

"I love you too, Malon. But I don't want to be a hero. I don't want to be the Hero of Time. I just want to live a simple life, with minimal fighting, surrounded by friendship and love. I want to raise a family. Live happily ever after. With you,"

"Oh, Link...I want that too. After this, and after we eat...why don't we visit Kokiri Forest?" Malon suggested.

"YES! Great idea! I can tell Saria about our engagement!" Link excitedly agreed.

After the butter was churned, the couple headed into the house for lunch.

"So, yer chores 'r' all done, yeh?" Talon asked.

"Yup. Barn's clean, horses and cows brushed, butter churned...and Link fixed the churns, too!" Malon proudly shared.

"Eh, what was wrong with my churns?" Talon asked.

"I added a wheel to the handles, so it's that much easier to churn the butter," Link clarified.

Talon raised an eyebrow, "Sit. Eat. Then show me," Talon ordered.

The three ate silently. After lunch was over, Link took Talon out to the cheese shack to show him the churn modification.

"HAW HAW HAW! That's brilliant! I'd-a never thought ta do that! That's how ya got done with the churnin' so fast! Hey, you know what? We can patent this. I'm goin' to the castle right now, and filin' a patent. Since you invented it, you'll get all the money from any sales I make. I figure, ten rupees per wheel," Talon stated.

"No. You're going to be spending time marketing this. And time putting these wheels on churns. I'll give you half," Link insisted.

"Right then, five rupees per wheel fer each of us. HAW HAW HAW! This'll be great! You an' Malon 'r' on yer own fer the rest o' the day. I'll be at th' castle," With that, Talon was off to the castle to meet with the patent magistrate.

Link went into the house and told Malon what was going on.

"Link, that's wonderful! Now we have even more news to share with Saria! Come on, Link! Let's get our horses ready! I'm taking Epona. Which one do you want?"

"If you're taking Epona, I want a slight chance of keeping up...I'll take Halifax," Link reasoned.

"Alright. Give me a few minutes to prep Halifax, and you make some sandwiches to bring along," Malon suggested.

"Great idea! We can have a picnic in the woods!" Link agreed, as he went to the kitchen to prepare some roast beef sandwiches.

Link met Malon outside, with a picnic basket filled with sandwiches. He got on Halifax, and the two headed out on their horses to the Kokiri Forest.

"Link, how many sandwiches did you make?" Malon asked.

"Umm...nine? I think? I dunno. I wasn't keeping track. I just started making sandwiches and couldn't stop until the rest of the beef roast was used up,"

"Oh, Link...whatever am I going to do with you?" Malon smirked.

"I have a few ideas...but we're both naked in all of them," Link teased.

"Oh my gosh, Link...you're too much!"

"That's what she said,"

"LINK! Stop it!" Malon chastised as she blushed furiously.

"Yeah, ok. We're here, anyway. Have you ever met Saria?"

"No, I've never been to the Forest..."Malon realized.

"Well, come on!" Link grabbed the basket of sandwiches in one hand and Malon's hand in the other, and ran into the Forest.

On the bridge, they stopped.

"Link, what are those beautiful leaf piles down there?" Malon asked, pointing to several colorful patches on the forest floor.

"Those would be deku scrub holes. Where deku scrubs live. We'll be seeing more in Kokiri Village," Link explained, as he led Malon through the log tunnel ahead of them.

"And this," Link stated "Is Kokiri Village,"

"I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life! Look at all the lighting bugs! Oops, I broke one!" Malon said, as a string of light suddenly split into ten dots of light as she touched it.

"Nah, they're fine. I used to do that all the time. They regain their orientation and reattach eventually," Link explained. "Come on, let me show you my old house!" Link dragged Malon to his house, where Saria greeted them.

"Link! Oh my gosh, I've missed you so much! I was just here, thinking about you, and missing the days when I would come over here and we would play games together," Saria related. "Hey, who is this? She's beautiful!" Saria noted, seeing Malon for the first time.

"Thank you, though I really love your hair...Saria, is it?"

"Oh wow, what a nice compliment! And yes, I am Saria, Forest Guardian and Sage. What's your name?"

"I'm Malon. It's very nice to finally meet you, Saria," Malon expressed.

"Link! THIS is Malon?! Oh my gosh, you're SO lucky to have such a wonderful friend!" Saria gushed.

"Well, we actually came here to tell you that we're more than friends now..." Link started to explain.

"MORE than friends? What do you mean?" Link used confusion. It was super effective.

"What he means is, we're engaged to be married!" Malon clarified.

"Oh, wow! That's great news! I forget sometimes that adults get married. I've been ten for 800 years, and sometimes get lost in childish thoughts. I'm really happy for you both! Hey, let's go see the Great Deku Tree!" Saria exclaimed, running to the Great Deku Tree's grove. Link and Malon followed.

"Great Deku Tree, Link has returned to the forest," Saria announced.

"Verily, he hath brought an outsider with him. Thou shall speak, outsider,"

"M-my name is Malon. I run Lon Lon ranch with my father. Link is to be my husband in a few months, according to the traditions of my people," 'Please don't hurt me'

"Child of the World. I shall not hurt thyself. Thou hast good intentions. Verily, I can read what thou mind thinks. I sense much love for Dear Child Link within thou. I bestow my blessing upon thou," The Great Deku Tree bellowed.

"Thank you, Father," Link said.

"Verily, I am not your father, Dear Child Link. Verily you have always seen me as such, and as such I shall respect thine feelings. Knowest that your father was a valiant Hylian who fought against evil most bravely. That is all I can say. You may leave me now,"

The trio left the grove, and went back with Saria to her house.

"That was so exciting! You're the second Hylian to receive the Great Deku Tree's blessing!" Saria exclaimed to Malon.

"Who was the first?...Ohhhhh..." Link asked, then realized he was the first.

"Let me guess," Saria teased "You sometimes forget that you aren't a Kokiri?"

"Usually when I'm with you," Link blushed, embarrassed.

"I can understand that feeling. These woods seem to have a connection with the minds of people who enter them," Malon observed. "I feel like I've been here my whole life!"

"That's the Great Deku Tree's blessing at work," Saria explained. "Now...how about these beef sandwiches I've been hearing about?"

Link unpacked several sandwiches, and handed one to Saria and one to Malon.

"Ooh, these are delicious!" Saria complimented. "Tell me Link. Do you need more forest mushrooms?"

"Always, Saria. How was this year's harvest?"

"It was the best harvest in seventy years! We have more than we can eat, and the deku scrubs can't even eat all that we have left. Here, I saved some for you," Saria pranced over to the chest in the corner of her house, and brought back a large sack full of mushrooms.

"Wow, um, these will last a while, huh?" Link said, shocked.

"Hopefully! Hey, there's enough sandwiches for the Village scrubs! Let me invite them in!"

Before Link could protest, Saria was out the door. Before he could go after her, she came back with three deku scrubs. "This is Nok, Dalf, and Frak. Guys, this is Link and his wife to be, Malon," Saria introduced everyone.

"Hi guys. How's the Village treating you?" Link inquired.

"Oh very well! Thank you again for helping us out!" Nok said.

"Hey, Nok, try a sandwich! They're fantastic!" Dalf observed.

"Best I've ever had!" Frak agreed.

Nok took a sandwich, sniffed it, then ate it. "Delicious! Who made these?"

"I did. Would you like another? I have plenty," Link offered.

"Yes, please!" All three deku scrubs answered in unison.

In no time at all, all the sandwiches were eaten, and the deku scrubs thanked Link and Saria for their hospitality and left. Saria cleared the plates, and sat back down at the table.

"So. Malon. Tell me about your ranch. I don't know much about it, only that you have horses and cows," Saria inquired.

"Well, yes, we have horses and cows, and also a cheese shack, where we also make butter, as well as cheese. There's a race track for racing horses, and a barn for the horses and cows. We also have a silo where we store hay and oats during the winter, so the horses and cows always have food, no matter what the weather is like. Not much to tell, really,"

"That sounds so exciting! I wish I could ride a horse," Saria lamented.

"Well, you're a bit small for these horses. You might need a pony, if you're going to ride. Unfortunately, we don't have ponies, and there are no plans to ever have ponies," Malon stated, feeling a bit sad for her new friend.

"Oh, that's ok. I can't leave the forest, anyway," Saria consoled with a smile. "Oh, look at the time! I really must get going. I have to call a meeting with the others to tell them about my new friend! You guys can stay if you want,"

"No, we should get going, too. Hyrule Field is very dangerous at night," Link reasoned.

"It was very nice meeting you, Saria," Malon smiled.

"Please visit again soon! We don't get many visitors who are kind. Most only come in to cut trees down, or kill animals," Saria relayed, sadly.

"Who's cutting trees down? Who's hunting the sacred animals?" Link demanded.

"Well, no one, recently. But that's what the last visitors did..." Saria sadly replied. "Anyways, you best get home before dark!"

"We'll be back as soon as we can," Link replied, giving Saria a hug, before he and Malon went on their way, and Saria took off to gather the rest of the Kokiri.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm glad people are digging this story. Usual disclaimer applies. This is a long chapter, and sorry for taking so long with it. Work is getting busy for the holidays, so updates might be irregular. Now, on with the show!

CHAPTER 7

Link and Malon returned to the ranch just before the wolves started their concerto. Talon was nowhere to be found.

"Link, I'm worried. He's usually back by now," Malon noted.

"Where did he say he was going?" Link asked, putting the huge bag of mushrooms in the storage cellar, really a hole under a trap door in the kitchen.

"The castle. To file a patent on your churn wheel," Malon reminded.

"Yeeahhh...he should have been back hours ago," Link agreed. "No sense in looking for him at this hour. There's no way he's in Hyrule Field after dark," Link reasoned.

"Oh, Link...I'm so worried..." Link wrapped his arms around Malon and stroked her back, trying to comfort her. Truth was, Link was worried too.

"Maybe he fell asleep on his way out of the castle," Link suggested. "It's not like he hasn't done THAT before,"

"Not since Ingo was fired, he hasn't," Malon reasoned.

"Ok, now I'm REALLY worried..." Link stated. "Let's try to get some sleep, and I'll go search for him in the morning,"

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Link opened the door to find a Royal Guard standing outside.

"Hello, Bill. What news brings you here?" Link asked, taken aback by the timing of this visit.

"Sir Link! Sorry for the late arrival. We did everything we could. Red potion. Blue potion. Fairy's spirits. We had the best healers on the job..." Bill was interrupted by Link.

"The hell you on about, man?!"

"Link...Talon...he was found in the castle moat. We think he had a heart attack, and fell in. At any rate, there was no water in his lungs, so he was already gone when he hit the water. I am so terribly sorry, Malon. Losing a parent is a huge loss," Bill sympathized. Bill had just lost his mother last month, as well.

"No...this can't be happening...not now...he was supposed to give me to Link at our wedding! He was supposed to show Link how to run the business side of the ranch. There was so much left for him to do...it couldn't have been his time...just...no..." Malon sobbed, as she buried her face in Link's shoulder. Link gently combed his fingers through her hair, as his tears started to fall, as well.

"Bill, thank you for being the one to bring us this news. Did Talon have a will filed with the magistrate's office?" Link inquired.

"He did. In fact, he had just filed it before he died," Bill replied.

'That sneaky son of a...he used my patent as an excuse to file his will!' Link thought.

"Oh, and, there is one other thing," Bill remembered. "This piece of paper from our patent office was found in his overalls. We dried it off as best as we could, and it is still legible, for the most part..."

"Let me see that!" Link demanded, snatching the paper from Bill's hand.

Link looked over the paper, and broke down. Link and Malon were now crying on each other, and neither one cared.

"Can we expect you at the castle in the morning to identify the body, and go over Talon's last will and testament? I know how hard this is for you...I just went through it myself..."

"Of course, Bill. We'll be there. And please. Stay here with us. You can have the bed on the right, in the room on the right,"

"Thank you. I think I'll do just that," Bill agreed, not wanting to fight Stalchildren until morning.

Link led Malon up the stairs, while Bill followed.

"Remember. Yours is the bed on the right. Talon's is the bed on the left," Link warned. Hylian superstition dictates if you sleep in a dead man's bed, their soul can take over your body, replacing your soul, which is then doomed to roam the land in Poe form.

"Thank you Link. I'll definitely be sleeping in the bed on the right," Bill smiled. "Goodnight, you two,"

"Goodnight Bill," Link said.

"Good-ni-ght Bill," Malon sobbed.

"My daddy's...dead...Link...he's dead!" Malon sobbed into her pillow.

"I know, Malon. I know. Let's just wake up, take care of the ranch, and head over to the castle, and get this whole mess over with. Then we can take the Weeks of Mourning,"

"L-Link...the wedding is in two months, two weeks! That would mean..."

"We'd have two months to plan the wedding. I know. It's ok. I've been in much worse situations. Try saving the world in three days," Link finished for Malon.

"Oh, Link...I love you...so much..." Malon sighed as she cried herself to sleep.

The next morning, Link and Malon awoke to a ruckus. Or maybe it was a fracas. Well, whatever it was, it was definitely a hubbub. Perhaps a commotion.

"The hell is going on?" Link rubbed his sleepy eyes and came downstairs to a breakfast buffet of English muffins, sausage links, bacon, mushroom omelets, and a variety of jams.

"Link? Where did this..."

"Ah, you're awake! Excellent! Princess Zelda sends her regards, as well as her jam collection. Well, some of it, at least. Please, eat before you head to the castle," Bill greeted the stunned couple.

"Um...what is this? There's enough food here to feed an army!" Malon noted.

"Well, I'd hope so! For the next two weeks, five soldiers will be here every day to take care of the ranch. I found Talon's work rotation list that he kept for the three of you in his bedside drawer, inside his ledger, and sent word to the Princess last night while you two were asleep. She decided to send five soldiers first thing in the morning to take care of the farm duties. They will leave after they've eaten, probably before you return from the castle. They will be here every day for two weeks, but will always be gone by nine a.m., leaving no trace that they were ever here," Bill explained.

"Well, that was nice of her..." Malon said, taken aback by this generous action.

"The Weeks of Mourning are a sacred tradition in Hyrule. She would have done it for any business owner," Bill explained. "The only reason she sent five soldiers is...well...there's a lot of work here,"

"C'mon, Malon...let's get this over with..." Link coaxed.

"Yeah..." Malon sadly agreed, as the two headed to the corral to get horses to ride to the castle.

"HALT! Transportation has been arranged. Your horses are not yet ready for riders. They are in the middle of their daily brushing," a guard commanded, barring entrance to the corral.

Link and Malon turned around and walked out of the ranch, to find a red gilded carriage waiting for them, pulled by a white horse.

"One gentleman, dressed in green, and one red haired girl. All aboard! Next stop, Hyrule Castle," the driver announced.

Link chuckled, and Malon giggled, and both boarded the carriage. In almost no time at all, they reached the castle. Princess Zelda greeted them outside the drawbridge, as Link and Malon got out of the carriage.

"I am very sorry for your loss, Malon. You too, Link. This can't be easy for either one of you," Zelda gravely stated.

"Let's just get this over with," Link mumbled.

"Of course. Right this way. Our first stop is the medical examiner's office, down this hall. Please, go in," Zelda escorted the grieving couple to a room, and they went in.

"Hello, I am Doctor Pipit. I am very sorry for your loss. Now, your father is right over here, please. Right this way,"

Link and Malon approached a granite slab. Talon was laying on it, his skin a purple color.

"DADDY!" Malon screamed, and in anguish put her head on the slab face down and cried.

Link stood stoic, and just softly commented, "Yeah, that's Talon of Lon Lon Ranch,"

Doctor Pipit replied, "Yes, I was afraid of that. We'll let Malon cry a bit more. She needs time to say goodbye to her father,"

After a few minutes, Malon dried her tears, and still sniffling, they met Zelda outside the M.E.'s office. Zelda then led the two up a spiral staircase and down yet another hall, until they came to another door. This one was labeled "Magistrate". Link and Malon entered a very nice office with dark wood furniture and luxurious blue plush carpet.

"Ah, Link. Malon. Thank you for coming," the magistrate greeted shaking each of their hands. "Please, have a seat. Can I get you some water?" he offered.

"Yes, that would be nice," Malon softly replied.

"Please, thank you," Link agreed, as the magistrate left his desk.

"Here you are, you two. Two glasses of ice cold water. Now then...down to business," The magistrate pulled a file out of his drawer.

"It seems that Talon was to leave the ranch to Malon. Well, of course he was, no surprise there. What's really interesting, though, is that he left Link a very large sum of rupees. Well, both of you, actually..." the magistrate explained.

"What do you mean? We never had a lot of money, at least, I don't THINK we did...I mean, it costs a lot to run a ranch, with maintaining the buildings, caring for the animals...we spent a good ten to fifteen thousand rupees a year on maintenance, and we weren't really raking in huge profits..." Malon recalled.

"Well, apparently, Talon had a huge insurance policy taken out on himself, in the event that he died, and he also seems to have had an account that he never touched...oh, this account is in his wife's name, I see. So she had her own separate account. I wonder if he even knew about it? Ah, no matter. The thing is...between his life insurance and this other account...Link, you are to receive 500,000 rupees. Malon, you are to receive 750,000 rupees. I must say, combined, that is three times the annual budget of the Hyrulian military," the magistrate stated matter-of-factly.

"Wait, what?" Malon asked shocked.

"PFFFFFT!" Link spit out a mouthful of water, soaking the magistrate.

"Ah yes, I should have expected that," the magistrate said, wiping himself off with a towel.

"Um, sorry..." Link apologized "That's one thousand Giant Wallets for me, and 1,500 for Malon! How are we supposed to transport that kind of money? Where are we going to keep it? For that matter, where is it now?"

"Quite alright," the magistrate replied, setting the towel aside. "Right now, the money is in the royal treasury, and as far as anyone is concerned, it can stay there. If you want to take it elsewhere, we can arrange to ship it in chests, or in increments of up to 100,000 rupees. It's your choice. However, there is one more matter we must attend to," the magistrate explained. "Malon, your father wanted to be buried beside his wife. She is in a grave on an island in Lake Hylia. Arrangements can be made, if you would like,"

"Yes, they should be together in death, as they were in life," Malon demanded, tearfully.

"Very good. I'll get that set up immediately," the magistrate said, leaving his desk and going to a box with several flared tubes coming out of it. He spoke into one of the tubes. "Doctor Pipit? Yes, Malon would like her father buried along side her mother, if you could release the body to the undertaker, that would be lovely. Thank you," The magistrate sat back down in his chair.

"That's certainly convenient," Link observed.

"Yes, I have a tube that goes everywhere in the castle except for the conference room. Makes it quite easy to communicate without walking all over the castle," he explained. "Now, as for the matter of your increased finances..."

Malon interrupted the magistrate. "I want 200,000 rupees delivered to the ranch..."

Link interrupted Malon, "I want the the two accounts combined into one,"

"Ooh, good call, boyfriend. Have I told you today how much I love you?" Malon responded.

"I love you too, honey. Yours was also a good call," Link smiled.

"Hello, Stan? Are you there? Oh, Felicia! Excellent, you can complete this request. The Abeeru account, if you could please, combine it with the Talon account. Then, withdraw 200,000 rupees...yes, two chest fulls, that's right...and send them to Lon Lon ranch in an unmarked carriage, not a Royal carriage. Don't want any suspicions raised, after all. Very good. Uh, time of delivery? Make it in two hours. Very good. Bye, Felicia," the magistrate once again returned to his seat. "If you hurry home, you can take delivery of the rupees you requested. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, thank you. You've made this as easy as possible," Link complimented.

"Well, I aim to please. You may leave now, if there's no other questions for me?"

"No, thank you. We should head back to the ranch, Link," suggested Malon, getting out of her chair. Link followed her actions, and took her hand.

The magistrate stood up. "If there's anything you could possibly need me for, don't hesitate to ask. I'm here to help in anyway I can,"

Link shook his hand. "It was a pleasure meeting you. Thanks for everything,"

Malon also shook his hand. "Yes, t-thank you. F-f-for everything," she managed through tears. The couple left the magistrate's office, only to find Princess Zelda waiting in the hall.

"Come, I'll lead you back to the carriage," Zelda held her hand out for Malon to hold.

"Th-thank you, Princess. Link and I...we really...ap-appreciate everything," Malon, still crying, struggled to say.

"Is there anything else I can do?" the Princess asked.

"Just one thing," Link said.

"Name it," Zelda responded.

"I need the name of your carriage builder,"

"OH! Well...I mean...that is to say...our average carriages are 10,000 rupees a piece. The one you rode in was 20,000. The man who builds them...well, that would be Stoodey Baker. If you think you can afford one, he builds the best...I can't think of why you'd want one, though. He lives in Castle Town, and runs his business out of the old Bombchu shop,"

"Thank you, Princess," was all Link said.

The mourning couple got into the gilded carriage, and were raced home.

"Thank you for the ride," Link thanked the driver, and threw him a purple rupee as a tip.

"Th-thank you Sir Link. That's really not nec..."

"Yes it is!" Link interrupted, and smacked the horse's backside, causing it to run full gallop back to the castle. Link took Malon by the waist and brought her into the house. It was about three minutes after they sat down that there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" called Link, while Malon sobbed at the foot of the stairs.

"I've got your rupees here, sir," a courier poked his head in the door.

"OH! Excellent. You guys sure are fast!" Link commented.

"Yes, sir," agreed the courier. Link went outside and opened the carriage and looked in.

"Wow, those are big chests...alright, I think I can manage," Link replied, testing the weight.

"B-but, Sir Link...it took a team of horses and a rope and pulley to get those in there!" the courier scoffed.

Link picked up one of the chests with one hand, and opened the door to the house with the other. He sat it down in the corner of the living room, then did the same with the second chest.

The courier was speechless. Link gave him a purple rupee, and waved him off, closing the door. He opened the door, to find the courier still standing there, mouth open. Link waved at the courier until he got back on the carriage, and left.

"Well, Malon...now that's out of the way...let's take our clothes off and get some rest,"

"That's the best idea you've had so far today," Malon sadly replied. The two headed up to their room, and took off their clothes. They got into bed, and Malon cried herself to sleep on Link's chest.

'Two weeks of this...I can live with this. I still wish Talon were alive. How am I going to plan a wedding in two months without his help?'

The next day, the couple were served breakfast in bed. It was the only meal they ate that day. That routine lasted three days, when on the fourth day, Link and Malon finally decided to have a memorial service. All of Hyrule was invited, but only a few people showed up at the grave site. After the memorial service, Link and Malon hosted a small gathering at the ranch, and served refreshments. When that was over, they went back to bed. Malon fell asleep almost instantly, while Link stroked her hair as she laid her head on his chest.

The following day, Malon had enough of being in bed all the time and suggested the two talk to Saria. Link agreed, and after the soldiers had left, he brought Epona and Halifax out of the corral. Link got on Halifax, and Malon got on Epona, and the two headed to Kokiri Forest.

Saria greeted the couple at the entrance, like she did the first time. "HI! I wasn't expecting you...hey, what's wrong? You two look like you've spent the past four days asleep," Saria observed.

"My dad died. We're in mourning," Malon explained.

"Oh...gosh...that's awful!" Saria grabbed Malon in a bear hug, "I am so so sorry! Hey, what if we got the Deku Tree to open the portal to Termina? Then you could..."

"NO!" interrupted Link. "Termina is not a place for the living. Been there, done that, not doing it again,"

"It's better, this way, Saria. Link's right. Seeing him again and knowing I can't see him after that would be much worse," Malon explained.

"Oh. I guess that would be worse," Saria sadly agreed. "I'm...not sure what else to say,"

"We just needed to get out of the ranch for a while. So, we thought we'd come see you. The forest is very calming," Link said.

"Well, can't argue with that...hey! Are the Gerudo aware of Talon's death?" Saria questioned.

Malon's eyes went wide. "Oh my goddesses! No, they aren't! Link! We should go see them!"

"See you soon, Saria. We need to go now," Link hurriedly said.

"Feel better!" Saria called after them, waving goodbye with a smile.

Link and Malon arrived at Gerudo Fortress just before dark.

"Well...look who we have here. What business brings you two to the Fortress?" Aviel asked.

"My father died...I thought you should know, seeing as how my mother was..."

"Talon? Dead?! When did this happen?" Aveil interrupted Malon.

"A few days ago," Link and Malon replied in unison.

"Goodness! This is terrible news! Please, wait in the fortress, I'll get Nabooru,"Aveil ordered, as she shuffled Link and Malon into a room in the fortress.

A few minutes passed, when Nabooru and Aveil appeared in the doorway.

"What is this I hear of Talon's death? Please tell me everything," Nabooru ordered.

"They say his heart stopped as he was leaving the castle, and he fell in the moat, where they found him. Really, that's all we know," Link described.

"How do they know he didn't drown?" Nabooru interrogated.

"They didn't find water in his lungs, nor were there any signs of foul play. He just...died...and fell...in t-the m-m-moat," Stammered Malon, close to tears.

"Oh, Malon...you poor dear," Nabooru pulled Malon to her, and let the girl cry into her breast.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Aveil asked.

"Not particularly. He's been buried beside his wife in a grave on Lake Hylia," Link stated.

"Excellent. A fitting burial for a loving couple. Abeeru always loved Lake Hylia. She said it was so wet compared to the desert. She loved the feeling of the air around the Lake," Nabooru reminisced.

"It's getting dark, Lady Nabooru. We should let them stay until morning," Aveil noted.

"A fine idea. Come, we have your bed set up, still. We never really bothered to move it, as it's in a place out of the way," Nabooru said, leading Link and Malon to their chamber.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I didn't want Talon to die until AFTER the damn wedding! Ugh...remember what I said about not having control of this runaway train? Anyways, thanks to my growing number of fans following this train wreck. I own nothing.

CHAPTER 8

Dawn of the sixth day. Eight days remain. That was the first thing that came to Link's mind as the sun came up over Gerudo Valley. He roused Malon, and the two put their clothes on and headed towards the entrance to the fortress.

"Leaving so soon?" Nabooru asked.

"Yeah, we have to get back to the ranch before breakfast gets cold. Besides, the soldiers need to groom these horses," Link replied, stroking Halifax's mane.

"Very well. Thank you for alerting us to Talon's untimely demise. I hope you will visit again, soon," Nabooru waved goodbye as the couple rode off into the sunrise.

Back at the ranch, Link and Malon put their horses in the corral and apologized to the soldier for having them back late, when he complained about his routine being thrown off. Link went inside and made a plate of breakfast for himself, Malon followed suit.

Fast forward to the last day of the Weeks of Mourning. The soldiers blessed Malon and Link as they left the ranch for the last time. Link decided he needed to do some shopping.

"What are you shopping FOR, Link?" Malon asked.

"I want a carriage," Link replied.

"Why do you want a carriage?" Malon was intrigued.

"Well, for one thing, it would make helping people across Hyrule Field a LOT easier. We could start a taxi service. We could make deliveries. We could rent it out for weddings. I mean, there's a whole lot of opportunity here. We might not need the money, but I'm not interested in the money. I'm interested in the services I can provide to the people of Hyrule that no one else is providing. Heck, maybe two carriages. Or three. One for weddings, one for deliveries, one for a taxi service...we have all this money, why not spend it?" Link reasoned.

"Well, I can't argue with that...how about a white gilded carriage for weddings, and a plain one for deliveries and taxi services? There's only two of us, and it would be easier to keep records on rentals, so we didn't accidentally book three carriages on the same day, when only two drivers are available," Malon also reasoned.

"Yeah, I can see that...so...I can buy two carriages?" Link questioned excitedly.

"Hee hee...yes Link, you can buy two carriages," Malon giggled.

"YAY! I'm getting carriages!" Link took a few Giant Wallets full of rupees, got on Epona, and rode to the castle gate.

Once in town, Link went directly to the old Bombchu shop.

"Ah, are you lost, young knight? The armory is not in here," an old man behind the counter commented.

"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure you are Captain Obvious," Link replied sarcastically.

"Ah, good one! Eh heh...not many can match my wit so quickly. I am Stoodey Baker. What can I do for you?"

"I would like to commission two carriages for Lon Lon Ranch," Link explained.

"Oh, would you now. Heh, alright...I'll need to see some proof you can afford such an order,"

"Well, I don't have much on me..." Link lamented, setting five Giant Wallets on the counter then continuing, "I do have more where this came from, however,"

Stoodey raised an eyebrow. "Well, this is highly irregular...this is enough for a down payment on a gilded carriage...if you would like..."

"I would like a gilded carriage, yes. A white one with lots of gold carvings, glass windows, velvet red curtains, a red velvet seat, and a covered red leather driver's seat," Link stated.

"That covered driver's seat is going to cost you 500 rupees..." Link dumped his own Giant Wallet out on the counter, as Stoodey trailed off, "Well, there's another 500 rupees, alright...ok, then, I'll get started on that. You said you wanted another carriage, as well?"

"Yes. I'll have that full payment for you in a bit. As well as a full description of what exactly I want...it's going to be highly customized," Link explained.

"Eh, customized costs extra," Stoodey replied.

"Don't care. I'm willing to pay 50,000 for the second one, if that's what it takes to build it," Link retorted.

"It's your money," Stoodey stated. "Thanks for your business. See you soon!" Link was out the door.

Back at the ranch, Link hitched Epona up to the farm wagon, and loaded a couple leather sacks full of purple and gold rupees, and headed back to Stoodey Baker's shop.

"Ok, Mister Baker. I've got two sacks of rupees here. One has purple rupees, one has gold rupees. First, let's take care of the gilded carriage payment," Link explained, placing 90 gold rupees on the counter.

"Eh, well, your gilded carriage is fully paid off...what about this other one you wanted?"

"Ah, that one...it needs to be able to handle jumps. Rough terrain. I want wheels made of sword steel. Tires made of stone, or something extremely strong. Ball bearings in the axles. Blades that can be attached and detached from the hubs. I also want it to be a somewhat comfortable ride, so a somewhat light suspension, but a heavy-duty undercarriage. Can this be done?" Link inquired.

"Well...um...I've never built anything like that...I may need to consult the Sheikah for the best way to approach this design. Tell you what. I'll charge you 25,000 rupees initially. If I need more, I'll bill you. If I need to change the design in any way, I'll let you know. This should be a fun build. But, first, give me two weeks to finish your first carriage," Stoodey explained.

Link counted out 25,000 rupees, and shook Stoodey's hand, thanking him for his services.

"No, thank YOU...what did you say your name was?"

"I didn't. But if you must know, it's Link. Sir Link, if that title means anything. I live at Lon Lon Ranch,"

"Sir...Link...yes, you proposed to Talon's daughter at the Gala after you were knighted...I remember you, now. Very well, then. We'll be in touch," Stoodey Baker waved Link off.

Link put the rest of his rupees, and there weren't many left, in the cart and headed back to the ranch. As he was removing the sacks, he noticed a worn and tarnished bronze plate under one of the sacks. It read Stoodey Baker Model 7 Wagon.

'Well, I'll be...' Link thought, as he went into the house to empty the remainder of his rupees into the chest he took them out of.

"How did it go, honey?" Malon asked.

Link was taken aback...he couldn't remember the last time Malon called him a pet name, or if she ever had. "Um, it went well, love," 'Wow, that just came naturally...'

Now it was Malon's turn to be shocked. She said nothing, but rather stopped washing the floor and jumped into Links arms. They kissed lovingly and tenderly, as time stood still. After the kiss, Link excused himself.

"Where are you going, Link?" Malon wondered.

"Talon's room. Going to haul his bed out to Hyrule field, and burn it in our traditional fashion. After that, I'm going to go through Talon's paperwork, and figure out the ranch's finances, how much was charged for what, and what would be reasonable to charge for the new services I want to offer. Depending on my findings, we may be able to charge less for those services, just to cover minimal costs. I mean, we're pretty much set for life, if we just maintain what assets we have," Link explained.

"Hmm, that is a reasonable conclusion," Malon agreed. "Well, let me know if you find anything interesting,"

Link went upstairs, threw Talon's mattress down the stairs, and did the same with his bedframe. Link followed, somersaulting down the stairs, and tossing both items, one at a time out the door. Then he ran out the door, and dragged both items into Hyrule Field. Standing back, he drew a fire arrow, set his bow, and shot the mattress. Link watched the bed burn for a bit, then got an idea. He ran back to the house, got a sack of rupees, and got Ingo's old bed out to where Talon's bed was burning. He added Ingo's bed to the pile. Then he ran off to Kakariko Village.

"Hey, Mutoh!" Link called out, as he got to the village.

"Link! How are you?" the carpenter boss asked. "Heard about Talon. Sorry about that. Guess there's no tellin' when it's our time, ya know?"

"That's so true. Anyway, I want to commission a bed," Link replied.

"Oh! I imagine you'll need something bigger than a single, now that you and Malon are getting hitched soon, eh? Well, no problem! Tell ya what. I'll build you a bed fit for a king, and all it'll cost ya is 1500 rupees,"

"Yeah, ok, Mutoh. That's a deal. Know where I can get a mattress?"

"HAH! Don't worry about that. It's included in the price. Bet you didn't know it, but Anju makes all the high end mattresses in Hyrule. It's what she uses the feathers for before making her delicious fried cucco. Anyway, we'll be over there in a bit. You want it in Talon's old room, I take it?"

"You got it!" Link exclaimed, handing over the seven gold rupees and two purple rupees required for Mutoh's payment.

"WHAAAAAT?! All at once? I usually ask 500 upfront, 500 for the mattress, then 500 once it's done! Ah, no matter...I'll put these in my chest, right here. There we are. We'll be over there tomorrow morning," Mutoh replied.

"Great! Thanks!" Link exclaimed.

"No, thank YOU Sir Link. Business has been rather slow lately. If there's anything else I can do, let me know!"

"See you tomorrow morning, Mutoh!" Link shouted as he left the village and headed back to the smoldering remains of the two beds in the middle of Hyrule Field. As he watched the beds burned, Malon came out to join him.

"Gee, Link. It looks like there are two beds there," Malon noted.

"There are. We're getting a new bed to replace Ingo's old straw mattress," Link replied.

"When?" Malon questioned.

"First thing tomorrow. Mutoh's coming over with his men, and they're going to build the biggest bed we've ever seen, complete with a feather mattress," Link answered.

"We'll be sleeping in my bed, then?"

"We have been. I see no reason to stop now," They kissed.

Link went back to the ranch holding Malon's hand, and they went inside. Malon announced she was going to start dinner, and Link went up to Talon's room to go through the ledgers in Talon's dresser.

'Hmm, let's see...twenty rupees per horseback lesson...yeah, let's take five off that. According to this, that's still a one rupee profit, plus we usually get tipped, anyway. What else? Horse rental, fifty rupees per day? No no...twenty. Not a rupee more. Horse sales, though...who buys horses? Gerudo? The Royal Family? Well, that makes sense...Charge 100 for the Royal Family and 300 for the Gerudo? Nah. Everybody pays the same at Link Lon Ranch...hey, I kinda dig that name...hmm...gotta bring that up to Malon. Ok, so everyone pays 100 rupees per horse. Milk sales...let's say ten rupees a bottle. Butter? Three rupees from five per pound. Cheese? Ooh, cheese...nah, let's keep those prices. Cheese is a pain in the...' Link's thoughts were interrupted as Malon called him for dinner.

"Coming, love!" Link called.

"Not until after dinner, you're not!" retorted Malon, mischievously.

Link laughed, and headed downstairs. As the couple ate, Link brought up changing the farm's name.

Malon put down her fork. "What are you talking about, Link?"

"Link Lon Ranch,"

"Link Lon...you know, I kind of like it. How much would it cost to change over?" Malon asked.

"Can't be much. From what I gather, labels are thirty rupees for a thousand, new signage and advertising flyers will cost a total of fifty rupees, so, that's eighty rupees. Even if we lowered the cost of milk to ten rupees, we'd have to sell only eighty bottles to pay for the changes," Link shrugged.

"TEN...you mean...we were making a SIX RUPEE per bottle profit?! Link! That's insane!"

"Yeah, well, Talon did have a 500,000 rupee insurance policy...had to pay for it somehow," Link suggested.

"That...does make sense...what else did you find out?"

Well, Link gave Malon an earful as he explained how the Gerudo were getting screwed on their horse purchases, how the price of butter was going down, thanks to his labor-saving Churn Wheel™, and how he was going to lower the price of horseback lessons and horse rental, how he was going to charge 200 rupees for carriage rental for weddings and special occasions, with a refundable fifty rupees if the carriage came back perfect, how his battle carriage was going to make transport of people and goods easier over rough terrain, lowering the operating cost, and how cheese pissed him off, and so it was going to stay the same price. Malon listened to all this, surprised that Link had such a strong business sense, yet wanted to basically recoup all the costs without profiting hardly at all, thereby undercutting the competition by twenty percent.

Malon stated, "Well, Link...you've certainly figured out what needs to happen fairly quickly,"

"Eh, I'm just really glad Talon kept such awesome records. If he hadn't, it could have taken months, even years, to figure it all out," Link replied.

"Either way, we should clean up the kitchen and get ready for bed,"

"I suppose so, sweetie," Link whispered in Malon's ear from behind her.

"Oh, Link...I love you so much," She moaned, pressing her butt against his crotch.

"Don't start that, love...the dishes, remember?" Link reminded, placing his hands around her waist and kissing her neck.

"Link...honey...please...don't stop..." Malon whined.

Link didn't. He removed his tunic, she removed her dress, she leaned over the counter, Link kneaded her butt, and gave it a smack. Malon moaned.

"Hey. You want to try taking it in the back right now?" Link breathed in her ear.

"That sounds so hot. Let's do it!" Malon agreed.

Link grabbed some butter off the counter and shoved it in Malon's asshole with his finger. Malon moaned. Link added another finger, then another as she loosened up. Once Link was able to get four fingers two knuckles deep, he was satisfied that she was ready for the real thing, so he put butter on himself, and pushed in.

"Oh, Goddesses! Oh, it feels...so...BIG! Ugh, this is great! I love it!" Malon exclaimed lustfully.

Link carefully sped up his thrusting , and soon Malon was squirting all over the kitchen floor. Then he finished deep inside her, grunting as she moaned. They kissed, finished the dishes and cleaned up Malon's fluids off the floor, then picked up their clothes and went to bed.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Wasn't expecting that ending to Chapter 8. Meh. Let's see what Chapter 9 holds for us? I own nothing. Don't sue me.

CHAPTER 9

The next day, Link and Malon awoke not to the sound of a cucco, but to the sound of a wagon pulling up. Link got out of bed, and threw his tunic on. He went downstairs and opened the front door to find a large black wagon pulled by an armored horse. Impa was standing next to the wagon.

"Link, Stoody Baker sent for me. Before I head over there, tell me what he wants with Sheikah technology. Princess Zelda claims she did not order a wagon or carriage, His Highness ended the black ops funding in the previous timeline, so that leaves one other person in Hyrule who could be responsible for this potential threat to national security," Impa chastised, her hands on her hips.

"Well, you see, Impa...I wanted a carriage built to my riding style, so I can do all the things I normally do on horseback, but with a carriage on the horse," Link explained his hand behind his head sheepishly.

Impa held the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. "Oh...Link...You're going to be the death of me. No wonder Stoodey's letter was so urgent! I'm not even sure Sheikah technology can grant this request. I'll let my engineers know immediately to start working on tires for a wagon," Impa glared at Link, before climbing on her wagon and riding off to Castle Town.

Link decided to get started on the daily chores. Malon helped him, after a while. Around 10am, a mother with her little girl came to the ranch for horseback lessons. Malon worked with the girl for the standard two hours, then explained to the mother that the price had been lowered to fifteen rupees per lesson.

"Oh, my! Really? Well, sign us up for the next three weeks, then! I had been putting off Lilia's lessons for a while now, because I couldn't justify the cost, but now I can! Here's a red. Keep the change! I'm going to tell ALL my friends about this!"

Link heard the whole thing as he was heading to the cheese shack. "Well, that's interesting. Drop the price to fifteen, and they STILL give you twenty," Link shrugged and went in to check the cheese progress and to make salted butter. "Uh oh. Almost out of 2954 salt...looks like the price of butter will be going down again," Link told Malon as she came into the shack.

"I prefer the unsalted butter, anyway," she replied seductively, taking her place at the other churn, pouring milk in. The couple started churning.

"Hey, Malon. Do you think we should get some more 2954 salt, and offer a third salted butter that we can regularly sell for less, and keep the 2954 butter as a premium option?"

"I think it's a great idea, Link. I'll go buy another churn when I'm done here. How's the cheese?"

"Looks bad so far, so it's going great, I guess," Link noted.

"Well, that's good," Malon replied, emptying the churn and getting a wagon ready to head into the market, as Link emptied his churn into a barrel marked with the Royal Family Crest. 'Not nearly enough to bring to the castle...six more days, I figure.'

Link and Malon were heading to the house, when two little Gerudo girls, one taller than the other, appeared from the ranch entrance.

"Hey! Do you guys own this ranch?" the taller girl asked.

"Yes. What can we do for you?" Malon inquired.

"Well, our mommies said we've come of age, and sent us here to buy our horses," the shorter girl answered.

"Oh! Well, that's wonderful! Let me show you what's available right now, huh? Would you like a mare, or a stallion?"

"I want a mare!" exclaimed the shorter girl.

"I want a stallion!" squealed the taller girl.

"Well, we have a few mares available. Only one stallion is for sale, at the moment. His name is Gray Mane. He's black, but has a bluish mane," Malon stated.

"Ooh...I like that red and white mare! She's pretty!" the shorter girl said, pointing at a red mare with a white band and black mane and tail.

"That's Coconut. Because like a coconut, she's reddish brown on the outside and white in the middle," Malon smiled. "She's 100 rupees,"

"Really? My mom said all your horses were 300 rupees,"

"Nope. They're all 100 rupees now. Tack will be another 50 rupees, though,"

"Wow, okay...um...I really like Coconut. Do you sell tack supplies, too?" the shorter girl wondered.

"Yes. Let's see what's available. Follow me," Malon led the shorter girl into the barn, leaving Link with the taller girl.

"So...you're Link, right?" the taller girl asked.

"Ah huh," Link answered.

"My mom says you're very brave and strong, and that I should want to be just like you...but you don't look very strong,"

Link didn't say anything. He just walked over to the farm wagon and lifted it over his head. The girl watched, open mouthed.

"You try it," Link challenged.

"Nope, I'm good...I can't believe you did that! Wow, you have the strength of Sarha, the ancient hero who built the Desert Colossus by hand, by herself!" the young Gerudo awed.

"I guess. Want to see Gray Mane?" Link changed the subject.

"Um, yeah!"

"Right this way. He doesn't like the corral much. He usually hangs around back here, by the silo. I think he knows that's where we keep his food," Link explained as they approached the silo, where Gray Mane was standing.

"Ooh, he's really pretty! Do you have any silver and walnut tack?"

"Yes, we do. Excellent color choice. Let's see...you'll need a saddle, harness, reigns, and a saddle pad." Link listed off the things as he walked over to the barn shed. Link found a matching set in walnut with silver accents, along with a blue quilted saddle pad. "Let's see...that'll be 200 rupees, even," Link explained.

"But, Malon said tack was 50 rupees," the young Gerudo argued.

"This tack is an extra 50 rupees. These buckles are made of real silver," Link stated plainly.

"Oh...I see...well, okay, then!" The girl attached the tack to Gray Mane and rode around the track. "Wow! He's fast!" she marveled, handing four purple rupees to Link.

"Well, he's from a line of race champions, so, that makes sense," Link said. 'Slowest line this ranch ever produced...' Link thought.

Just then, Malon and the shorter girl came out of the barn with a tobacco colored tack set with brass hardware and a red quilted saddle pad. Malon showed the girl the right way to attach the saddle and harnesses, and gave her a pamphlet with the instructions. The girl rode Coconut around the track, and agreed to the 150 rupee price. Both girls headed back to Gerudo Valley.

As Link and Malon started fixing dinner, there was a knock on the door. Link answered the door to find Nabooru standing there with her arms crossed.

"What sort of trick is this? I send two girls from two families here with 400 rupees each, and one girl brings back 200 rupees and the finest saddle and harness I've ever seen outside the Royal Family, and the other brings back 250 rupees!" Nabooru yelled.

"It's no trick," Link explained, "Talon had been charging the Gerudo three times what he was charging the Royal Family. So, I decided to give everyone the Royal Family price. If you want, I can refund you the 20,000 rupees that Talon overcharged over the years,"

"That...is a most generous offer. However, no, I will not take you up on that particular offer. You're sure you aren't losing money, or selling us defective...you know what? I forgot who I was talking to. Of course you aren't doing anything to potentially hurt business or customers. Thank you for the discount. It is most appreciated,"

"It was the right thing to do. That's all. No need to thank me,"

"Of course, Link. We'll meet again soon," Nabooru nodded and left the ranch.

"We probably should have sent them word of the discount," Malon said.

"Nah. How else were we going to get Nabooru to show up here?" Link smirked. "Is dinner ready?"

"Yup, come and get it!"

After dinner, they cleaned up and decided to just go to sleep. They had a very long day planned. There was going to be a lot going on, and they would need rest.

A week later, Link and Malon brushed the horses and cleaned the barn. They also had two horseback lessons, a soldier came over to buy a new saddle, and Link had to deliver the barrel of salted butter to Hyrule Castle. When he got there, he found Impa waiting for him.

"I'll be damned if this scenario doesn't look familiar," Link greeted.

"Link. We need to talk. Stoodey and I have come up with an idea. However. It's going to cost you. A lot," Impa started. "Leave the butter. I'll notify the kitchen that it's here. Come with me,"

Impa led Link to the very back of the castle, to a very large workshop where many Sheikah were working on various things, from drawing, to blacksmithing, to chemistry, looking through microscopes, etc. Impa led Link to a young looking male Sheikah sitting at a drafting table, holding a pencil to his chin. He appeared to be in deep thought.

"RAZLIN!" Impa shouted. The male Sheikah startled.

"AH! Oh, Impa, yes, and Link, I presume? Of course. Yes, well, let's get down to business then, shall we?" Razlin stated, recovering from Impa's jump scare. "What I have been working on, following my discussions with Stoodey Baker, as well as your payment of 25,000 rupees, regarding your, em, 'battle carriage', is a horseless carriage, made entirely of a special alloy, and powered by the mysterious blue flame found in the coldest regions of Hyrule,"

"Wait...HORSELESS carriage?!" Link was astounded.

"Erm, yes, quite. You see, it uses the blue fire to boil red water, which makes up red ice, to turn a turbine, which powers an engine connected to the wheels by a driveshaft," Razlin explained, pointing at various drawings on his drafting table.

"Okay...why not just use regular fire and water?" Link asked.

"Ah! Excellent question, yes! Well, the problem with regular fire and regular water is that regular fire requires massive amounts of fuel to keep going. Blue fire burns non stop, as long as there is a continuous source of cold. We've created what we call an Ice Rod, which is aimed at the torch under the boiler. Now, we've also been able to create a continuous source of red water, using alchemy. We have been making red ice and red water for two days, and already there's enough red water for three laps around Hyrule, including the Wastelands. It's cheap enough to make; won't cost you but 100 rupees a barrel. All you'd need is two, maybe three gallons to get you from here to Lake Hylia and back. Oh, but the TANK! Yes, the water tank can hold an entire barrel of red water!"

"Ok, but how is the Ice Rod powered? And how do I know if the blue flame is dying?" Link asked.

Razlin flipped through his drawings and stopped at a diagram. "This is a temperature gauge. Basically a thermometer. When it gets above 32 degrees, pull the Ice Rod lever. OH! This is important. The Ice Rod uses magic, but no worries! We've also built in a Magic Meter, that holds twice as much magic as your own Magic Meter. That's enough Magic to keep the carriage going until you run out of water in the boiler!" Razlin clapped his hands excitedly.

"Well, you've certainly thought of everything...what about the wheels? Comfort?"

"AH! Comfort is very important to the driver, yes. Passengers, too! The driver is seated on a bench cushion built on three leaf springs: one on the left, right and in the middle, with a cabin around the driver, with glass on the front; so that the driver is perfectly protected. The two passenger benches are built the same way, but they also fold flat to carry cargo. The cushions are made of oxblood leather and overly stuffed with cucco down. There are two doors on the front half of the carriage, for the driver and two passengers, and four on the back half, for up to six passengers. The rear doors open against each other to make one large opening. Now, as for the wheels and tires...yes...the wheels are extra wide, about 6 inches wide, and feature a honeycomb design made from spring steel. The tires are the same alloy that the rest of the carriage is made of. We've also added lanterns in the front and back, to aid with driving at night. There is a bumper to protect the boiler, and it can withstand a collision at 45 miles per hour. A similar bumper is on the back in case you back into something," Razlin explained. "It also has an advanced weapons system, including a firestorm, earth quake, and a weather storm. We call them Bombos, Quake, and Ether, and the symbols for each are on the console. Touch one, and you'll create 5 seconds of nightmares for your enemies. They use magic power, as well, but you'll have plenty. You can always recharge the Magic Reservoir with either a green potion or magic decanter,"

"And how much is THIS going to cost me?" Link asked, amazed.

Impa glared at Rezlin as he stared up at her nervously. "Ah, heh heh...that's the thing, isn't it? Yes...cost...total cost...yes...hmm, well, Stoodey said your budget was 50,000...yes, well...this is going to cost 190,000 rupees...IF you decide you want it, that is..."

"Consider it sold. Impa, take the money out of my savings in the treasury," Link stated. "And don't forget about the butter,"

"Of course, Link. I'll bring you back to the entrance of the castle, and let the kitchen staff know that the Royal Butter has arrived,"

Back at the ranch...

"YOU SPENT HOW MUCH?! ON WHAT NOW?!" Malon was, umm...upset.

"190...thousand...on a horseless carriage...that is basically going to pay for itself in ten years..." Link meekly explained.

"What good is a carriage without a horse, Link?" Malon yelled.

"This carriage doesn't need a horse. It's powered by an engine. Kind of like the windmill in Kakariko, but smaller. Instead of wind, it's powered by steam," Link explained.

"Link...if this technology exists...it could put us out of the horse business," Malon squeezed the bridge of her nose.

"Not really. We could have bought half of Kakariko Village for what that thing cost. No one except the Sheikah even know of its existence, even Stoodey himself isn't aware this is being built! Besides, the technology behind it is so obscure, I doubt if anyone would bother to learn it," Link reasoned.

"I...I just...190,000 rupees!"

"I saw the drawings. It'll be totally worth it. According to the one spec sheet, it supposedly has a top speed of 80 miles per hour!"

"I'll believe THAT when I see it!" Malon exclaimed. "When it comes, you and I are racing to the Castle gate. I'll be on Epona," she challenged.

Link shrugged. "Yeah, ok," he agreed.

Just then, Stoodey appeared at the gate, with the most beautiful carriage Link had ever seen.

"Well, here we are! Since you paid upfront, I hired Mutoh and his boys to help with the wood work and moldings, so I was able to get this done much sooner than expected. Finest carriage I ever built, to be honest. Even took a pictograph of it and put it on the wall in the shop," Stoodey laughed as he unhitched his horse and rode off, leaving Link and Malon to inspect the wedding carriage.

"This is perfect! I love it!" Link exclaimed.

"It IS a beautiful carriage," Malon agreed. "The red velvet curtains are a nice touch,"

"And I can't wait to use it! I'll get the flyers printed up for LinkLon Wedding Carriage rental,"

It wasn't long before they had their first rental, either. Two days later, Princess Zelda sent a messenger.

"Link, Princess Zelda would like to pay you 100 rupees for the use of the wedding carriage, and she wants YOU to be the driver. She's very insistent on this and will not take no for an answer," a Hylian Royal Courier explained.

"Why? What could she possibly want with OUR carriage that she doesn't have herself?"

"She said you would ask this...and...the answer is rather embarrassing..." the courier blushed, before continuing, "You see...not a single one of her carriages has hubcaps. Yours is the only carriage in the kingdom with hubcaps...and such ornate ones, they are, too," The courier commented, examining the gold hubcaps with a silver S on them.

"Why doesn't she outfit the Royal carriages with hubcaps, then?" Link interrogated.

"Yes...she tried...however, the Royal Family keeps strict guidelines on what they can and can't pay for. You are aware that those hubcaps are 2,000 rupees? Solid gold hubcaps with white gold S's don't come cheap, and, well...Her Highness doesn't want to spend 2,000 rupees on transportation costs when she can just as easily rent a carriage for 100 rupees," The courier stated.

"Yeah, okay. That makes sense. Tell the Princess I will do it. Who is she marrying, if I may ask?"

"Prince Azastan of the Alnrauf Kingdom. Their marriage was arranged by Hyrule's King and Alnrauf's Queen. He was the only suitor whom our Princess actually got along with for more than five minutes at a time," The courier laughed.

Link laughed, "Sounds like it will be a prosperous marriage. Send her my congratulations and acceptance of the job," Link dismissed the courier, as the courier bowed and rode back to the Castle on his horse.

"How exciting! A Royal Wedding!" Malon clapped her hands excitedly, as the pair headed back into the house.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: So, this is where the Breath of the Wild and Link to the Past lore comes into play...Link's horseless carriage is built using the same technology as those horrific Guardians, out of the same materials as the Guardian Beasts, with wheels instead of legs. The weapon systems and Ice Rod are from LttP. I like to think of this horseless carriage as a prototype made thousands of years before the Guardians were built. Enjoy chapter 10!

CHAPTER 10

The date for the Royal Wedding had finally arrived. Link and Malon showed up to The Temple of Time in the finest carriage in Hyrule to bring the newly wed royals back to the castle after the ceremony. Zelda paid two hundred rupees for the ride after the reception, which was held in the castle courtyard, leaving Link a 100 rupee tip.

"Link, thank you so much for this. The wedding was perfect, thanks to you. We are ever so grateful. Please, take these rupees as a sign of our gratitude,"

"Thank you, Zelda. I hope you two have a very happy marriage," Link smiled.

"Oh, I think we will," Zelda replied, then whispered to Malon, "Honestly, he's a fantastic lover, very kind-hearted, and reminds me a lot of your husband," She winked.

"I'm glad to hear that, but those pants he wore during the ceremony tell me that Link is a lot bigger in the meat department," Malon whispered back with a smirk.

"The size of the sword doesn't matter when the wielder is an expert knife fighter," Zelda smirked back, making Malon laugh.

"What are you two talking about?" Link inquired, approaching the ladies with the new Prince of Hyrule.

They replied in unison. "Nothing!"

Link shrugged as he looked at Prince Azastan. "Women...the only people who can talk about nothing,"

"Ha ha, I KNOW! Hey, Link, you're a pretty cool guy. I'd love to hang out with you some more. Also, I'm curious about your ranch. Back in Alnrauf one of my hobbies was cheese making. I've had the pleasure of tasting your ranch's cheese, and butter, as well. I would love to see your operation sometime,"

"Oh, we'd love it if you would stop by for a tour!" Malon excitedly squealed.

"Excellent. I plan on enjoying married life for a couple weeks, (if you know what I mean), but yes, I will send a courier when I am ready to stop by,"

"Sounds great! We'll see you soon, then. Have a fantastic honeymoon!" Link smiled as he and Malon climbed on the carriage, ready to head back to the ranch.

"Definitely will, Link!" The Prince replied, scooping Zelda up in his arms and bridal carrying her into the castle as Link and Malon rode off.

"What's the prince like?" Malon asked Link, who had spent more time getting to know Prince Azastan during the reception.

"Well...um, first of all, and...I don't know if Zelda knows...not that it's my business if she knows anyway..."

Malon interrupted, "Spit it out, Link!"

"Prince Azastan is bisexual. He spent a good twenty minutes trying to seduce me. And honestly? The idea of having sex with him wasn't entirely off-putting," Link stated, blushing furiously.

"Ok, wow...didn't see that coming. I imagine you're going to want to give him the tour of the ranch? And want me to stay out of the way?" Malon accused.

"Well, I mean...he's married. It wouldn't be right. Now, a swinger situation...that would be different. However, not sure if Zelda would agree to that," Link replied thoughtfully.

"Oh Link..." Malon sighed. "Whatever am I going to do with you?"

"I've got a few ideas..." Link growled, slinging Malon over his shoulder and carrying her to the bedroom.

"AH! Put me down this instant!" Malon protested as Link got to the bedroom.

"Yeah, okay," Link replied, plopping Malon on the bed and joining her. Link stroked her hair and gently kissed her lips.

"What has gotten into you, all of a sudden?" Malon giggled.

"You're just so beautiful, and I love you. That's the only excuse I have," Link whispered.

"We should get more comfortable if we're going to continue, hmm?"

"Excellent idea. Let's get these horrible, fashionable clothes off post haste, M' lady!" Link exclaimed, jumping up and quickly removing his tunic and boots.

Malon sat up and removed her dress. "Let me take off your tights, honey," While she worked Link's tights off, he removed her bra and let it fall to her lap while she brushed it aside to the floor. Soon they were both naked.

"Ok, Link. You can join me now," Malon said seductively.

"Mmm, I'd love to," Link replied lustfully, bending over Malon in a cat-like pose and passionately kissing her and using his tongue to wrestle her tongue, before climbing onto the bed and pinning her down.

"Mmm, someone's happy to see me," Malon stated, cupping Link's erection in her hand, gently stroking it.

Link cupped Malon's breasts with both hands. "I am always happy to see you. Especially like this,"

"I'm happy to see you, too, Link. I'll be even happier when...OH GODDESS!"

Link had slid down his wife's body, still kneading her breasts gently, and parted her legs enough to get his head between her thighs, then started licking around her petals before dipping his tongue into her small opening. Link looked up at Malon, watching her face as she gripped his hair as he ravished her nether region. Suddenly, he found his face being soaked by her intense orgasm as his head was being taken captive by her thighs.

"Oh, Link...come up here...hold me..." Malon panted. Link wasted no time and stretched himself over Malon, and looked deep into her eyes.

"Hi there,"

"Oh, Link...I love you so much..." Malon kissed her husband passionately and thrust her hips upward to accept his hard member inside her. "Link...I want it...hard. Do me hard and fast!"

Not one to disappoint, Link drove his hips into hers with the passion and fury of a Death Mountain eruption. Malon grabbed Link's butt, trying to guide his tempo, but she soon gave up and decided to smack those beautiful tight globes on the upstrokes. This drove Link to the edge, and after five spankings, he buried himself to the hilt in his wife just as she had her second orgasm, and he had his first. Then he rolled off her, flipped her over on her stomach, and positioned her legs to put Malon in a downward dog position. He re-entered her from behind.

"Oh, Link! Yes! Oh, this is soooo goood...harder, Link!" Malon exclaimed.

Link pounded into her, his thighs slapping against her soft bottom as he tightly gripped her waist. After a few minutes of this, Link couldn't take much more and came deep within Malon's womb, as she rode the wave of her third orgasm.

He collapsed on top of her as they both fell into the mattress.

"Malon...I...I love you...so much..." Link panted.

"I love you too, Link...more than you could ever imagine,"

Link rolled off his wife's back and the couple faced each other.

"Link...how did I get so lucky?" Malon asked dreamily.

"I'm the lucky one, Malon. I have the most beautiful woman in all of Hyrule. I have a quiet life on a ranch in the middle of Hyrule Field, away from prying eyes and ears. This is so much more than I would have ever dreamed possible...this is what all the fighting I did all those years ago was for. I fought for this life. I fought for you. I ended up saving Hyrule, but I did it for you. I did it so I could have peace. Love. I only ever wanted your love. And now that I have it, I want to keep it. Cherish it. Forever,"

"Hold me," Malon sighed.

"Always and forever," Link replied as he hugged Malon tightly, burying his face in her cleavage as she stroked his hair.

The next day, Link and Malon started their daily chores, took care of a few customers, Link gave some lessons, Malon took some visiting ambassadors on a tour of Hyrule in the carriage with Zelda, and Link took some of the milk and butter to market. As Link was wrapping things up at the market stall, Prince Azastan appeared.

"Ah, Link. I see our women have left us to our own devices today,"

"Yep, we have a pretty busy schedule, for a couple of farmers," Link agreed.

"Even busier than us Royals, I imagine, though ours is a different sort of busy," Prince Azastan smiled.

"I suppose work is work. Whether you're running a farm or a kingdom, you still have duties and chores to attend to," Link replied thoughtfully.

"So very true. Some royal figures look down upon the common folk, but Zelda and I agree that everyone bleeds red, everyone has the same needs, everyone has desires. And really, could anyone be royalty without a kingdom to watch over? Here, let me help you with that crate...oh, never mind."

"You know, I'm not actually strong enough to lift these crates by myself. These gauntlets give me super strength. I can lift boulders five times taller than myself when I wear them. I'm not any stronger than any other Hylian, or human, like yourself, for that matter. These gauntlets are my Hyrule Kingdom. The only reason the Royal Family is so powerful, is because the Kingdom is as strong as it is. Has Zelda told you my story?" Link reasoned.

"Yes, she has filled me in on the details of your past. You have seen this kingdom fall. You know what a weak Hyrule looks like," Prince Azastan started.

Link interrupted. "No, I DON'T know what a weak Hyrule looks like. Even when I saw Castle Town overrun with Redead and in ruins, when I saw Big Poes in Hyrule Field, when I saw a ring of fire around Death Mountain, do you know what else I saw? I saw Hylians gathering together all the strength they had to survive. I saw Gorons willing to give up everything to protect their home and food source. I saw Zora frozen under ice go into hibernation mode and come back to life when the world was restored to the way the Goddesses intended it to be. I fought Ganondorf the thief as well as Ganon the monster. I defeated him with the Master Sword, which was created by the Goddesses and tempered by a Hylian hero thousands of years ago. No, Hyrule is never weak, even when its royalty fails. Just like these gauntlets are never weak, even though I am,"

"Wow, You know, I never looked at it that way, but you're absolutely right. Hyrule was strong enough to survive the darkest times when the Royal Family failed to protect it. That's something Alnrauf could learn from. I'm so very glad to be a part of this kingdom rather than be fated to rule that one,"

"What's wrong with Alnrauf?" Link asked.

"The people there are weak. They look to the Royal Family for protection when something bad happens. Everyone only thinks of themselves, and what they can get from the Royal Family. When things are bad in the Kingdom, they are very very bad. There's rioting and looting if the people aren't happy with the way things are. I don't see that ever happening in Hyrule," Prince Azastan explained.

"That's awful! No, Hyrule always sticks together, no matter how bad things get," Link agreed.

"Hey. I'm glad we had this talk. It's good to know that if I fail when I become king, you'll have my back," Prince Azastan smiled.

"Oh no...if you fail when you become King Azastan, Queen Zelda will kick your ass, and you damn well know even I couldn't save you from that!" Link smirked.

"Ok, you got me there. Hey, is that your carriage?" Prince Azastan looked towards the sound of hooves and wheels and saw a white gilded carriage slowly making its way through Castle Town.

"Yup, sure is...HI, MALON!" Link shouted.

"HI LINK! HI PRINCE AZASTAN!" Malon yelled. Zelda peeked through the window to see what the yelling was all about, then waved at the two men smiling and waving at the carriage.

"I say, what a wonderful experience this has been. This kingdom and it's people are so welcoming and peaceful. How do you maintain such propriety?" One of the Ambassadors asked.

"Oh, we don't. That's just how Hyrule is. The Hylian people stick together and take care of things throughout the kingdom as needed. Plus, we have our own Hero when things get really bad," Zelda explained.

"Ah, yes...this 'Link' person...the farmer?" another Ambassador asked.

"That's right. Link might be a farmer, but I know I can count on him to save Hyrule from any calamity that might want to harm our simple way of life here," Zelda smiled.

"This has certainly been a treat. I would love for you to visit our kingdom, as we have visited yours," the third Ambassador invited.

"Oh, I would love that! I've always wanted to see Korodai for myself! I will send you word when Azastan and I are able to visit," Princess Zelda gushed.

"Most excellent, Princess. Oh, look. We're already back at the castle,"

Malon parked the carriage just as the drawbridge lowered. She jumped off the driver's seat and opened the door facing the drawbridge.

"Princess Zelda. My lady," Malon bowed her head as she guided Princess Zelda out of the carriage.

"Thank you, Malon. I appreciate this," Zelda whispered, discretely passing a gold rupee to Malon.

"It was my pleasure," Malon whispered, pocketing the rupee discretely.

"Gentlemen," Malon bowed her head and offered her hand as each Ambassador exited the carriage.

"I say, this is a fine carriage. I wonder if we can fit one on the ship? Our own carriages pale in comparison to this one," one Ambassador commented.

Princess Zelda quickly replied, "Oh, our Royal carriages are nowhere near this nice, which is why I hired Malon to drive this one,"

"You don't say? The Link Lon Ranch must be very prosperous indeed if they can afford what the Royal Family of Hyrule cannot..."

"It's not that we can't afford carriages like this one...it's that Stoodey Baker builds so many of our carriages at a time that he doesn't put as much detail into them. This was a single carriage order, and the Royal Family has to order three at a time to get the fleet discount," Zelda clarified.

"Ah, well that makes sense, then!"

Malon interjected, "Stoodey Baker's shop is in Castle Town, if you're interested in spending 28,000 rupees on a carriage that may or may not fit on your ship,"

"Did you say...28 THOUSAND?" the three Ambassadors exclaimed in unison.

"Yep, that's how much this carriage cost. The glass windows, comfortable suspension, curtains, hubcaps and driver's cover were all extra. Worth every rupee, but you might want to make sure one will fit on your ship before you buy one," Malon smirked.

Zelda put her hand over her mouth to keep her smile hidden. She was trying desperately not to laugh at the Ambassadors' incredulous faces.

"Twenty..." Ambassador 1.

"Eight..." Ambassador 2.

"THOUSAND...rupees..." All three together.

The first Ambassador was the first to recover. "Well, I'm sold...however, that is not a decision we will be making right here, right now. We will bring up the possibility of ordering ONE carriage for the Royal Family at the next quarterly meeting when we return to Korodai. Thank you for the wonderful ride, Malon, and the tour of your Kingdom, Princess Zelda. We shall return to our chambers," The three Ambassadors headed into the castle.

"Malon, I would like to talk to you about my husband...it's rather...embarrassing..." Zelda started.

"I'm all ears! What's up?" Malon inquired.

"My husband is...bisexual...and has a crush on Link..." Zelda blushed.

"Yep, I know that. Is that all?" Malon smiled.

"Well, no, it's just that...well...I needtoborrowyourhusband'spenis," Zelda said quickly.

"Um, well, it's kind of useless unattached to him, I would imagine..." Malon thought out loud.

"No...I mean...I need a casting of it. To make a model of it..." Zelda explained.

"Hmm...intriguing..." Malon was having thoughts. Interesting thoughts.

"Yes, well, the alternative is to let Azastan and Link screw each other," Zelda stated.

"Intriguing..." Malon continued her fantasy.

"I mean, I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall..." Zelda started.

"Me neither!" Agreed Malon.

"Wait...do you think..." Zelda started.

"Oh, Link might go for it..." Malon smirked.

Back in the market...

"Well, that's the last of the crates. Need a ride back to the castle?" Link asked Prince Azastan.

"Yes, that would be lovely, Link...almost as lovely as you..." Prince Azastan climbed into the wagon as Link stared at his perfectly round butt and slim waist.

"You know, you're pretty cute too. For a guy, I mean," Link replied with a smile, getting into the driver's seat.

"What would our wives think of this conversation?" Prince Azastan asked.

"No idea," Link replied, steering the wagon towards the castle.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: There's gonna be some slash in this chapter. It's gonna be a smut chapter. No plot. So, feel free to skip to chapter 12 if yaoi isn't your thing. Also, it's really REALLY long!

CHAPTER 11

At the castle, Link helped Prince Azastan out of the wagon, and the two men waved goodbye to each other as the prince went into the castle. The drawbridge was raised when Prince Azastan was inside. Link got back on the wagon and rode home to his wife.

"Honey, I'm home!" Link called as he entered the house.

"Come on up, sweetie!" Malon called back from the bedroom.

Link walked up the stairs and opened the bedroom door to find Malon on the bed, completely naked and on all fours. She glanced towards the door and smiled.

"Hey stud. Why don't you get those clothes off and put that big cock of yours to use?" Malon invited.

Link took off his boots, and threw them in a corner. Then he removed his tights and tunic. He threw his hat at Malon, who caught it and giggled. Link jumped onto the bed, and bent over Malon, kissing her cheeks, then her lips. Link reached under his wife to massage her breasts while kissing her. He started getting hard, and dry humped Malon's butt, moving his hands to stroke her dampening mound.

"Mmm, that's real nice...Link, I need you..." Malon moaned.

"You feel so good. So wet..." Link growled, slowly sliding his thick eight inches into her heat.

"Link! Stop teasing me! Oh Goddesses...have you gotten thicker? Oh, wow..." Malon moaned.

"I think you've gotten tighter, honey. So...much...tighter...nnnng...ugh, feels...so good!" Link panted, slamming his hips into Malon's backside, watching her buttocks slap into his own thighs.

"Link...I'm so close..."

"Me too, honey...oh Hylia...I'm cumming!"

"AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" both of them yelled at the same time. Link collapsed on Malon's back, as she fell onto the mattress. Link was still inside her.

"So...Malon...what got you in the mood all of a sudden? Not that I'm complaining..." Link questioned after he caught his breath.

"I don't know. Zelda and I were talking, and, well...I guess the thought of watching you and Prince Azastan having sex together turned me on," Malon admitted.

"Wait, what?" Link couldn't believe what he just heard.

"Yes, Link. Zelda and I both think that watching you and Prince Azastan would be very hot. Why? Is there a problem?" Malon was having second thoughts about this conversation.

"No, no problem...I just don't think I could focus on him if you were in the room..." Link started.

"I know. That's why Zelda is going to arrange a hiding place for her and I. You won't even know we're watching," Malon was getting her confidence back, now.

"Wait...so...the castle...?"

"Yes, Link, the castle would certainly be the absolute best place to do this. Think about it. There are way more hiding places there than here,"

"Yeah, ok. When are we going to the castle?" Link asked.

"Well, Prince Azastan wants us to be at his birthday party next week...you could give him his present then..." Malon hinted.

"Um, yeah! Sure! Next week would be great!" Link agreed. 'I just hope I can figure out how man on man sex works before then.'

"Link...do you think you could get off me now? I'm kinda tired, and you're awfully heavy for a blanket..."

Link rolled off Malon, and they faced each other. Link stroked Malon's cheek, and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear to get it out of her eye.

"You are so incredibly beautiful, you know that?"

"Stop that, Link...you're WAY out of my league," Malon sighed.

Link planted a soft kiss on her lips as her eyes closed. "No, sweetheart. You are absolutely perfect for me," he whispered as she drifted off to sleep. Link then closed his eyes and didn't open them again until the next morning, when a loud knock at the door forced him to get out of bed and throw his tunic on.

"Bill! What brings you here? Did someone die?" Link greeted the soldier at the door, who had previously brought news of Talon's death.

"Not this time, thank the Goddesses. No, someone was born 30 years ago next week, and he would like to extend an invitation to his birthday party. Oddly enough, you and Malon were the only two commoners invited...huh...interesting. Everyone else at the party are nobles," Bill answered, looking through the pile of invitations in his delivery bag.

Link groaned. "I can already tell this is going to be a disaster...but, I will be there anyway," Link replied, with a mischievous grin.

"Link, please don't cause a frackus..." Bill pleaded.

"Ok, how about a ruckus?" Link asked.

"No, that's not allowed either," Bill clarified.

"Can I cause a commotion, at least?" Link questioned.

"Not even a little bit. I will have my guards watching your every move at this party. They have been ordered to throw you out at the first sign of trouble," Bill threatened.

"EVERY move, you say? Well, THAT will certainly be something for the record books..." Link muttered under his breath.

"What was that, Link? Couldn't hear that..." Bill explained.

"Oh, nothing, Bill. Don't worry, I won't be any problem. I'll just take some acting lessons, and figure out a way to turn my sarcasm generator off," Link said sarcastically.

Bill missed the sarcasm, and replied, "Very good. We'll see you next week," 'I hope the Prince knows what he's doing...'

Meanwhile, Prince Azastan was pacing in the throne room while his wife was attending to some dignitaries in another part of the castle.

"I hope I know what I am doing...Link doesn't have the tact nor the attitude to handle a bunch of uppity nobles...this could be a disaster before it's a success! Well, I suppose I could keep him distracted...what keeps Link distracted? OH! Of course! As long as I can keep him talking about the food, he will ignore the people. Maybe if I ordered some dairy products from Alnrauf...yes, that should be a good distraction...OH! Zelda! The dignitaries are satisfied, then?"

"For the time being, yes. Honestly, why they would come see me for such trivial matters is beyond me, but that makes my job easier, I suppose. What is wrong, Azastan? You look worried about something,"

"It is just that...I invited Link to my birthday party, as we agreed, however..."

"Yes, Link is rather...unrefined, is he not? You are worried that he won't fit in with the rest of the party goers? Well, worry not. No one will even notice he is there," Zelda explained.

"What? You mean you are going to hide him in the tower until the party is over?"

Zelda laughed. "No, silly. I mean, do you really think those uppity nobles will notice Link any more than they would a fly staying out of their way?"

"What makes you think Link will stay out of their way?" Prince Azastan asked.

"Well...that is to say...oh dear. You are correct. This is going to be a glorious disaster. I simply cannot wait to see this play out," Zelda smiled gleefully.

"I suppose if it goes badly, it will do so in an amusing way," Azastan agreed, also smiling.

The following week, Link was getting ready to go to Prince Azastan's 30th birthday party, when Malon poked her head into the bedroom.

"Hey, hon. Are you almost ready?"

Link responded in a fake ancient Hylian accent, "Yes, milady. I shall be downstairs post haste. I do hope I do not make a complete fool of myself this eve,"

"Ugh, too late, Link. Alright, well...the driver is here...though he wants to leave the royal chariot here and asked if he could take ours, instead," Malon explained.

"Oh ho! Does he not know that we only RENT the chariot out, and that we charge storage fees?" Link continued talking in his ridiculous false accent.

Malon sighed, "Yes, he has already agreed to pay us 300 rupees,"

Link replied, "Ah, very good then. We shall take OUR chariot to the soirée,"

"Link, stop that. You are not royalty. You aren't even upper class, let alone nobility. You're just going to make a fool of yourself," Malon chastised.

Link waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, nonsense. I have to fit in with these nobles, and I aim to. I have been keeping up with the horse races (all our horses have won, so I have that going for me), and I know many things about many things, such as investing and the like. I am positive that I will share some common ground with these nobles,"

"Link, just be yourself," Malon pleaded.

"Oh, I shall be myself, for whom else could I be?" Link reasoned. "I shall be an upperclass gentleman of the highest order, just as I am,"

Malon groaned, and Link took her arm. "Come, milady. The chariot awaits!"

There was a line of carriages at the castle gates by the time Link and Malon arrived at the party. There was also a lot of heads in other carriages turned towards Link's own carriage. Once everyone was inside, Link found himself surrounded by wealthy noblemen from at least three kingdoms.

"I say, that is a fine carriage. Where did you get it?"

"How much does a carriage like that cost?"

"I would like a red one, just like it. Does it come in red?"

"Does it come in blue? Can I get a roof rack for it?"

"One at a time, gentlemen, one at a time. I commissioned my carriage from Stoodey Baker of Castle Town. It cost a mere 28,000 rupees, and I am most certain you could order one in red, blue, with or without a roof rack. Though I am sure the roof rack will indeed cost extra," Link replied to each question at the same time.

"28,000 rupees? Can you imagine? My castle cost twice that!"

"Yes, well, my mansion cost half that!"

"My FLEET of racing chariots cost as much as that one carriage!"

"Who is this man?!"

"If you'll excuse me, gentlemen, my wife and I have a meeting with the man of honor," Link said matter of factly, in his haughty tone of voice.

"A personal meeting? With the Prince of Hyrule? Who is this man, indeed?" There were many murmurs at this point.

"Princess Zelda, Prince Azastan! I hope you are both quite well. Happy birthday to you, dear Prince. May you live to celebrate many more!" Link practically shouted as he entered the throne room.

"Malon, may I speak with you? In private?" Zelda asked, stepping down from her throne and approaching the couple.

"Yes, of course, your Highness," Malon quietly responded, allowing herself to be pulled to the council chambers.

"Link, the ancient tongue does not suit you well," Prince Azastan smirked from his throne.

"Malon, why does your husband insist on using that ridiculous tone of voice?" Zelda asked, after she closed the council chamber door.

Malon sighed. "I honestly have no idea. He started it when he was putting on his dress tunic. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't. It didn't help that your carriage driver insisted on driving OUR carriage. We got accosted as soon as we were in the castle by people wanting one just like it!"

"Oh, dear. That's no good at all. Of course, Link being Link...he answered every question thrown at him honestly, did he not?" Zelda frowned.

"Yes, your Highness, he did," Malon bowed her head.

"Enough of the 'your Highness' nonsense. This is me. Zelda. When it's just us, I'm Zelda. I do not use high speech unless I'm in the throne room or in the company of castle staff. I do not expect either you or Link to call me or Azastan your Highness when we're together as friends. As YOUR FRIEND, I must suggest that Link will get himself into trouble in one way or another being himself,"

"Ok, Zelda, I agree. Nothing good can come of Link's behavior," Malon agreed.

Meanwhile, in the throne room...

"Ah, I apologize, your Highness. I do believe that the situation calls for me to use my tongue in such a manner so as to not appear as a poor farmer, oblivious to things the rest of your guests take interest in. I do believe the consequences of such an impression would be most detrimental to your Highness' reputation," Link explained.

Prince Azastan put his hand to his forehead, embarrassed for Link. "Link, yes. You are indeed a farmer. Not a poor one by any stretch of the imagination, either. In fact, you have more money than everyone in that room combined! Link, Barron von Aster is here tonight. His father purchased two race horses from Talon, from which he's bred many winning horses..."

Link interrupted, "Ah, but he purchased those from Lon Lon Ranch! I own the Link Lon ranch! If he would like to purchase the latest generation of race horse..."

Prince Azastan interrupted this time. "LINK! Enough! No, DO NOT interact with my guests! Please. I beg you. You will only end up making a fool of yourself,"

"I do not believe I shall, however, if I do, you will be the first to know about it," Link responded, as he turned and left the throne room.

"Thanks, Zelda. I really needed to hear your perspective. However, Link will be Link..." Malon shrugged.

"Yes, indeed he will be," Zelda agreed solemnly. "Go. Try to enjoy the party. Afterwards, meet us in the central tower stairwell," Zelda winked. Malon giggled, waved, and left the chamber.

Link was talking to Baron von Winset about how investing in cheese production has better returns than investing in dairy cattle, when his wife appeared at his side. "If you will excuse me, Baron, my wife here demands my attention,"

"Ah, yes, of course, Sir Link. Thank you for the investment tip. I hope to speak with you again tonight, but if not, perhaps I shall see you when our paths cross again," The Baron turned and left.

"What do you think you're doing? We are here for one reason and one reason only!" Malon angry whispered.

"Ah, my dear, I have not had this much fun in ages!" Link replied, smiling.

"Link, we're here for a different kind of fun, but it starts AFTER the party...just...don't embarrass yourself," Malon growled softly, then smiled at a very fat gentleman who nodded as he walked past the couple.

The rest of the party was a complete success. Link talked to several of the guests about many topics, without anyone realizing he was anything less than an unusually high born knight. Prince Azastan and Princess Zelda were both impressed, not only by Link's wide knowledge, but also by their guests' own stupidity.

"Seriously, I can't believe they fell for that phony accent!" Princess Zelda laughed.

"Did you ever think that they also have fake accents?" Link asked.

"Now that you mention it..." Prince Azastan started.

"No, that never dawned on me. However, it does make sense," Princess Zelda said.

"Anyway, I have a birthday present for you, my Prince," Link seductively said, putting his arm around Prince Azastan, and leading him up the tower stairs. As Link opened the second door as directed, Zelda led Malon to the third door, which was a room with two one inch holes in the floor, about three feet apart from each other. Looking down, one could see the canopy bed with a white chiffon curtain over the top, flowing down over all four sides.

"Can they see us?" Malon whispered.

"No. I had a guard watch me sleep in here during Ganondorf's time as my father's advisor. I REALLY didn't trust him. This other hole was to shoot Gannondorf if he ever tried to get me. A crossbow was aimed at the door," Zelda explained.

"Makes sense," Malon stated.

"Oh, look. The show is starting," Zelda noted.

Link and Prince Azastan entered the bedroom, and closed the door. They embraced each other, and explored each other's bodies over their clothes. Link removed Prince Azastan's jacket and shirt, and threw the items on a table by the door. Link kissed the Prince hesitantly, having never kissed a man before. Soon, however, the two were tongue wrestling passionately.

"Wow...kissing a guy is so...different!" Link exclaimed.

"Yeah, I think so too. There are a lot of things different about being with another guy," Prince Azastan agreed.

The prince pulled Link's tunic off and threw it on the table with his own clothes. He appraised the young hero before him.

"Wow. You have a great figure!" Prince Azastan marvelled. "I mean, I could kinda feel it earlier, but...mmmmf!"

Link dove in for a kiss, interrupting the Prince's compliment. The two men fell on the bed while trying to get each other's tights off; eventually they succeeded and tossed them on the table among their other clothes.

"Goddesses, you're beautiful," Link gushed.

"Look who's talking? You've got that beautiful blonde hair, and those beautiful blue eyes, the perfect Hylian facial features, the amazing body..."

"Ok, but your hair is iridescent...it makes prisms. Yeah, it looks brown, but up close, there are tiny rainbows in it. And your eyes are the color of Kokiri Forest. And this body...you may not be as muscular as me, but you are very well toned for someone who sits on his ass all day. Speaking of which, your butt looks almost identical to Malon's!"

"Ok, Link, but your butt puts Zelda's to shame,"

"Oh, please. Zelda has a great butt. It's incredibly round, if a bit more muscular than the average woman's,"

The two women upstairs were trying so hard not to laugh. Malon agreed that Prince Azastan had a rather large bubble butt for a guy. She definitely preferred her husband's tighter, slimmer, but still pronounced ass. Zelda, meanwhile, was feeling a bit self conscience about having too small of a butt, until Link spoke up. That made her feel better, and she wondered what having that hard body next to her would feel like, but quickly watched in fascination as Link and Prince Azastan started exploring...other parts.

"Link! Wow, this thing is huge!" Prince Azastan exclaimed.

"Huh, you think so? I mean, I always assumed it was average, or close to it," Link shrugged.

"No way. Wow, I can feel the weight of it in my hand! Have you ever measured it?"

"Yeah, once. Eight and a half inches long, and three finger widths thick,"

"Yeah, Link...you are definitely NOT average...unless Hylians are just bigger. That's possible. I don't know. I'm only six and a half inches long,"

"You're really thick though. I can barely get my hand around it!"

"You're about as thick as I am, Link, oh...wow...oh damn! Are you sure this is your first time with a guy?" Prince Azastan now had a blonde head of hair in between his legs, and it was giving him wonderful feelings.

Link looked up at the Prince with innocent blue eyes, while he swallowed Azastan's massive member down to the root. Link stuck out his tongue and licked the Prince's testicles.

"Oh my...how are you even doing that? Gods you're good at this," Azastan gasped.

After about five minutes of Link swirling his tongue all over the Prince's dick, Azastan suddenly grabbed Link's ears, and tried to push Link's head off his member.

"Wait! Link! Stop! I'm about to shoot!" Azastan exclaimed. Hearing this, Link grabbed Azastan's wrists, pulled them away from his head, and swallowed Azastan down to the root.

"Oh Gods, Link! I'm...AUUGH!"

Link pulled back and kept the head of Azastan's dick in his mouth, stroking the frenulum with his tongue, and took the massive load in his mouth. When the flow finally stopped, and Azastan started softening, Link let go with a pop. He stood up and kissed Azastan, transferring the load of semen to the Prince. The Prince kissed Link, transferring the load back, and Link swallowed.

"Link...that was...amazing! How did you..."

Link interrupted, "I know what I like, so I did what I like having done. By the way. You taste great!"

"Well, that makes sense. And thanks...but I'm not sure how you taste, and I don't think I could take you in my throat...but after that blowjob, my ass is feeling a bit left out..." Azastan grinned.

Link grinned back, and placed his hands on Prince Azastan's shapely rear. Link jiggled the soft globes. "You mean, this ass? This magnificent, soft, round, beautiful ass?"

Prince Azastan reached between themselves and arranged Link's hard shaft so it was pressed against each other's stomachs. "Yes Link. It wants your hard cock deep inside it. It's so empty, and you could make it so full," The Prince whispered to Link.

Link whispered back. "Well then, you might want to get on the bed on your hands and knees. Because I'm not going to be gentle,"

"I wouldn't want it any other way," Azastan growled as he got on all fours on the bed and put his head down.

"Ohmygosh! Zelda, your husband has an amazing ass!" Malon gushed.

Zelda nodded. "He really does, doesn't he? Especially from this angle," Zelda agreed.

Back in the bed room, Link was getting a stick of butter from his pouch and slicking himself up. Then, he took the rest of it and greased Prince Azastan's entire backside, paying close attention to the tight hole between Azastan's massive cheeks.

"Oh wow...I never thought to grease the whole thing! This is going to be amazing!" Prince Azastan moaned.

Link got on the bed, put the remainder of the butter on the bedside table, and placed his dick at Azastan's entrance. He slapped the Prince on each cheek, then pushed in. "Wow...you're really tight! Almost as tight as Malon," Link observed.

"Yes, well, I did have a plug in all day until the party to loosen myself up...I'm kind of wishing I'd have gone one size up, but I never imagined you were so huge!" the Prince exclaimed.

Link slowly pushed deeper until his balls were touching Prince Azastan's. "This feels amazing!" Link gushed.

"It is nice to feel someone's balls against mine while they're deep in my ass. Some feelings can't be replicated. Oh, Link, wait! Please...let me get used to you...don't move yet..." the Prince explained as Link had started to pull back.

Link sank back in and leaned over the Prince, enjoying the feel of his greasy behind against Link's own abdomen.

"Ok, Link. Start slow," Azastan moaned. Link pulled back, leaving about four inches in Azastan, then pushed in. He repeated this three more times, before thrusting deeper and harder. Then deeper and harder still. Then shallower and faster. The sound of flesh on flesh was almost deafening. Both boys were moaning. Upstairs, the girls were watching in fascination as Link gripped Azastan's hips and plowed the Prince's ass, which was bouncing rhythmically with every thrust. Butter was spattering the chiffon curtain and sheets. Prince Azastan was getting hard again.

"Ugh...I'm so close..." Link moaned.

"Do it Link. Give it to me. I want all of it," Azastan demanded.

Link thrusted a few more times, then gripped the prince's hips tightly while his balls emptied deep into Azastan's butt. The two men collapsed onto the bed, Link still deep inside the Prince. When Link finally softened and slipped out, he rolled off of Azastan.

"That was amazing," Link panted.

"Ugh, yeah, it really was...wow, you really filled me up, there, Link," The Prince replied, getting up and squatting over a chamber pot in the room.

"I can see that," Link said with a smirk, laying on his side watching as cum flowed out of the prince, what looked to be about a half ounce per squirt.

Malon and Zelda were upstairs, admiring the view Link was giving them.

"Malon, do you think I could borrow Link sometime to pose like that for the Royal portrait artist? The painting would never be in the main gallery, but rather my own private collection," Zelda asked.

Malon giggled. "I don't see why not, if Link would go for it," Malon replied.

"Hmm, I'll let you know when he'll be available next. Right now he's working on a group portrait of the Sheikah R&D team. That should be done in a month or two," Zelda explained.

Malon nodded and smiled, then returned her eyes to the show. Azastan was back at the bedside.

"Ok, Link. That was great. There's just one thing I really want for my birthday that I haven't had yet," Prince Azastan said seductively.

"Oh? And what might that be?" Link asked, in an amused tone.

"My dick in your butt," Prince Azastan growled into Link's ear.

Link grinned. "Is that all? Such a simple request," Link grabbed the butter off the bedside table, got on his hands and knees, and put about half in and around his butthole. He spread the rest on his ass.

"Mmm, such firm buttered buns," Azastan moaned, as he massaged Link's butt with his hands.

"Well, go on in," Link coaxed.

Prince Azastan spread Link's cheeks, and slid himself into the awaiting hole.

"Oh, wow...you fit in there so good!" Link exclaimed.

Prince Azastan leaned over Link's back and whispered, "If I didn't know better, I'd think someone has been training his ass for this,"

"Well...not really...I dunno how you fit so well back there. I mean, as thick as you are, I'd expect it to hurt more," Link explained, confused.

"Well, I'm not complaining. You want to be on top for this?" Prince Azastan asked.

"That might be best," Link agreed.

Prince Azastan carefully pulled out of Link, and got on his back on the bed. Link straddled the Prince, facing him, and sat on the Prince's dick, sliding down until Link was sitting on the Prince's thighs.

"Oh, wow. This feels even better!" Link marveled, wiggling his greasy ass against Azastan's thighs.

"Yeah, I agree," Prince Azastan smiled, as he reached up and stroked Link's hair.

Link raised himself up a few inches, then lowered himself slowly, getting used to the Prince's girth.

"Wow, you're thick. It's a little uncomfortable, but I'm getting used to it," Link described.

"Yeah, you're really, really tight. It feels good on this end, but just go at your own pace," Azastan suggested.

Link started riding Prince Azastan slowly, but as the discomfort went away, he started moving faster. Prince Azastan started lifting his hips in unison with Link's bouncing. Link leaned down while riding the Prince, and they kissed for a few seconds.

"This is really great! Wow, I'm getting hard again!" Link noted.

"Yeah...you are...ugh..." Azastan groaned, grabbing Link's dick with one hand and slowly stroking it.

"Oh...holy...this is almost too much!" Link exclaimed, also groaning.

So, Link was bouncing up and down on Prince Azastan, Prince Azastan was matching Link's thrusts, and he was giving Link a handjob. Suddenly, everything went white.

"AAAARGH!" exclaimed Prince Azastan and Link as Azastan filled Link up with his seed, and Link splattered the Prince's chest with his. Link collapsed in his puddle of spunk on Azastan's chest. The two men were silent for a moment as they struggled to catch their breath. The two women were watching this, also in silence. Nothing had prepared them for this beautiful scene of male intimacy. Neither Malon or Princess Zelda had ever seen anything like this before, and they were awestruck. As Link started to stir, Malon and Zelda looked at each other and squeed.

"That was the most amazing..." Zelda.

"But did you see when..." Malon.

"Then Azastan jerked him off..."Zelda.

"THEY CAME TOGETHER! Our husbands are literally the most adorable couple EVER!" Both at the same time.

"Link...we're getting sticky," Prince Azastan complained.

"I noticed when I tried to move," Link agreed.

"We should clean up," Prince Azastan suggested.

"I'm comfy," Link whined.

"I know," Prince Azastan agreed, wrapping his arms around Link.

"Why is this so comfy?" asked Link.

"Honestly? I have no idea. I've never been this comfortable laying with another man. It's like, our bodies were meant to be together. Or something. It feels like I feel when I'm with Zelda, if Zelda had a dick and no breasts," Azastan noted.

"Not gonna lie. You feel nothing like Malon. But...still comfy. A different comfy than I get with Malon. With her, I feel like I'm at home. With you, I feel like...I dunno. Not quite home, but...wait...no..."

"What is it, Link?" Prince Azastan asked.

"When I'm with you, I feel like I'm with Saria," Link finished.

"So, you feel like I'm your best friend?"

"Exactly! But that doesn't make sense! A person can't have TWO best friends!" Link exclaimed, rolling off the Prince, and getting a washcloth from the basin on the bedside table. Link first washed Prince Azastan's chest and thighs, rinsed the cloth in the basin, then washed his chest and butt.

"Link? Are you ok?" Prince Azastan asked in a worried tone.

"I'm confused. How can you be my best friend, when Saria is my best friend?" Link explained.

"I don't know. I would love to meet Saria sometime, though," Prince Azastan said.

"Yeah...that might actually be a good idea..." Link agreed. 'Maybe she could explain why I'm feeling this bond with someone who isn't her.'

"Well, I'm bushed, and it is getting late. Thank you for this, Link. This was amazing, but it probably won't happen again,"

Link rolled out of bed, and put his clothes on. He then tossed Prince Azastan's clothes on the bed.

"Thanks," the Prince said, as he started putting his clothes on. Once the two men were dressed, they embraced each other and kissed on the lips.

"Hey. I will never forget this. This was an amazing experience, and it's not like we won't be seeing each other again," Link said.

"Yeah, I know. Wow...I um, well, this was fantastic. The best gay sex of my life. Probably the last gay sex of my life. I feel I can die happy now," Prince Azastan noted.

"Well, let me get Malon, and we'll be out of here. Until we meet again!" Link said, opening the door.

"Yes, I will send word when I am ready to visit Kokiri forest!" Azastan said. The two men smiled at each other, and Link walked out of the room, to be greeted by Malon and Zelda walking down the stairs.

"So...did you two enjoy the show?" Link and prince Azastan asked in unison.

"Oh, yes, most definitely. It was amazing!" Malon and Zelda replied in unison.

There was silence as the Princess and Prince of Hyrule walked Link and Malon back to the castle gate. As the two couples said their goodbyes, the driver closed the carriage doors, and headed back to Link Lon ranch.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: This chapter takes place two months and three weeks after Chapter 10. If you skipped 11, cool. You didn't miss more than a week in the timeline. A plot twist was laid forth in Chapter 11, but that will be explained here, so again, you missed nothing.

CHAPTER 12

Three months had passed since the Royal Wedding of Prince Azastan and Princess Zelda. Malon woke up one morning to an upset stomach. Link woke up when he felt the bed move slightly. She threw on a robe and went outside. She starting throwing up on the side of the house. Link followed her out, after throwing his tunic on.

"Hey, honey, you ok?" Link asked, worried.

"I...I'm not sure...I don't know what's wrong with me..." Malon panted.

Link felt her forehead. "Well, you don't have a fever," he noted.

"I think I'm ok, now...I don't know why I felt sick all of a sudden," Malon said.

"Well, you go rest. I'll do all the chores today," Link suggested.

"Thank you Link. I am feeling tired," Malon stated.

Link hugged her and kissed her forehead. "Inside. You rest. I'll be in to cook breakfast shortly. Eggs are bland. You should be able to keep those down. If not, toast,"

"Toast sounds great, Link. Thank you. I'll just be lying in bed, then," Malon agreed, going inside.

Link had just finished feeding the horses, himself, and Malon, when Prince Azastan came to the ranch.

"Link. Where's Malon?" the Prince asked, looking around.

"She's resting in bed. She woke up not feeling well. Threw up outside this morning," Link explained.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping you and Malon could take me to meet the forest sprites today,"

Link perked up. "Great idea! The forest air might help her out. Hang on, I'll get her!" Link ran inside and got Malon out of bed and down the stairs.

"The forest, Link? Outsiders aren't usually welcome...even Zelda hasn't gone into the woods!"

"I have a feeling about this. Trust me," Link replied.

Link hitched Epona to the carriage, and helped Prince Azastan and Malon into it. He climbed into the driver's seat and drove to the entrance to the Kokiri Forest. Link helped Azastan and Malon out of the carriage and led the two into the Kokiri forest.

"Link? Malon? Why have you brought Azastan here?" Saria asked.

"Wait...how do you know me?" Prince Azastan asked Saria.

"Never mind that. You need to talk to the Great Deku Tree. Now!" Saria dragged the Prince to the Deku Tree's grotto, and pushed him through the hollow log. Suddenly, the whole forest shook with the Deku Tree's booming voice.

"AZASTAN! WHY HAVE YOU RETURNED?"

"Re...returned? I was never here..." Prince Azastan cowered.

"THEN THOU HAST FORGOTTEN THINE PAST?!" the Deku Tree entered Azastan's mind and looked through the Prince's memories. All he could find were memories of being a child in the kingdom of Alnrauf, being raised by the King and Queen, and the like.

"Well, I mean, I..." Azastan started.

"SILENCE! I HAST SEEN THINE MIND! THOU SPEAKEST TRUTH! THEE SHALL HARK TO WHAT I HAST TO SAYETH!" The Deku Tree then stopped shouting, and spoke much less angrily. "Forsaken Child of the Wood. Thine presence once did disturb the peacefulness of this land. Thou was once a Child of the forest, much like the Children whom inhabit these woods as of late,"

Meanwhile, Link and Malon were sitting in Saria's house.

"So, Azastan once lived in the woods?" Link asked.

Saria replied, "Yes. He lived in your house. He was exiled about three weeks before your mother left you in the Deku Tree's care,"

Malon asked, "What happened?"

"Well..."

Back in the Deku Tree's grotto: "Thou was always a mischievous character. Pulling practical jokes and pranking the inhabitants of the forest. One day, thou decided to set ablaze a twig, in the boot of Mido. Mido, his foot afire, ran through the forest, attempting to quell the flames. His attempts were for naught. Instead, his actions caused the entirety of the forest to be set alight. The damage was extensive. Twas then I hast decided to turn you mortal, and send thee abroad to a far away land where thou should thrive as a human. And seeing thine memories, thrive you did,"

"So...Azastan was actually like you?" Malon asked Saria.

"Yes, he was a Child of the Wood. Why is he back? He was never supposed to return from Alnrauf,"

Prince Azastan spoke to the Deku Tree. "Forest Guardian. I sincerely apologize for coming here. I meant no ill will towards this forest or its inhabitants. I merely was curious about these woods, since no Royal Family member has ever passed through here. I wanted to see this place for myself. Nothing could have prepared me for the beauty here,"

"As a human, it would seem thou hast developed a reverence for nature. A respect for life. Whilst I appreciate thy respect, thou are not to be a Child of the Wood. As a human, however, thou may receive my blessing. I now bestow upon thee The Great Deku Tree's Blessing,"

Suddenly, all of Azastan's memories as a Child of the Wood came flooding back to him. He passed out from the resulting shock.

"So. He was a Prince in the Alnrauf kingdom. He was arranged to marry Princess Zelda. He came to Hyrule as a peace offering, basically. Then...for whatever reason...decided to visit these woods and cause such a ruckus..." Saria started.

"Well, it was more a cacophony," Link interrupted.

"I'd call it a dissonance," Malon suggested.

Saria sighed, squeezing the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger, "Ok, so not the point. The point is...why did he come here?"

"Honestly? He wanted to meet you," Link replied.

"But...he already knew me..."

"I forgot," Prince Azastan had woken up, and appeared in the doorway of Saria's house. He started walking towards the trio. "Look, I had no idea I had burned down this place. I had no clue that it took three days for all of you to rebuild what I destroyed," Prince Azastan sat down next to Saria. "I had no idea I had even been here before. But now...I have all these memories...some happy, some not so happy...and I have no idea where they came from. Saria...we were..."

Saria interrupted. "Best friends. Yes, we were. But then you ruined everything. I never forgave you for what you did. I had to help the others clean up the mess. Why did you forget?"

"The Deku Tree made me forget. When he sent me away from here, I lost all memories of this place. I was given human form, and sent to Alnrauf, where the King and Queen adopted me as a human child from an orphanage," Azastan explained. "I came here on a diplomatic visit two years ago, when I met Princess Zelda. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and she had a great personality. We really hit it off, but as royalty of two kingdoms, the likelihood of us being together weighed upon our parents. So it came to be that my mother, Queen Elise I, and King Harkinian III, decided upon a truce between our kingdoms, and agreed to arrange myself to marry Princess Zelda. I suppose you can guess the rest of how I came into these woods,"

"Well, I guess I can't hold a grudge forever. It's great to have you back. I think," Saria stated hesitantly.

"I have the Deku Tree's blessing. I promise no harm will come to these woods under any circumstances while I live," Prince Azastan vowed.

"You are the first human to receive such an honor...I guess I HAVE to forgive you now," Saria hugged the Prince around the waist. "Welcome back, Azastan,"

"Thank you Saria. I'd like to apologize to Mido, if that's ok..."

Link interrupted. "Don't bother. He won't even recognize you, all grown up and human. Especially without a green tunic,"

Saria laughed, "Speaking from experience, Link?"

Link sighed, "Unfortunately, yes,"

"Malon, you should talk to the Deku Tree. I sense something...different...about you. Are you feeling ok?" Saria asked.

"Well, I was sick this morning..." Malon started.

"Well, go talk to the Deku Tree. GO!" Saria pulled Malon's arm, until Malon stood up, and then Saria pushed Malon out the door. Malon looked back to see Link and Saria making shoo motions, then walked reluctantly to the Deku Tree's grotto.

"DAUGHTER MALON!" boomed the Great Deku Tree. "I knowest thou hast been plagued with discomfort this past moon. The reason for that is because another life forms inside thee,"

"What? I'm pregnant?" Malon said with disbelief.

"Verily. Thou shalt birth your son within the year. That child will be born with my blessing,"

"Oh my Farore. That's wonderful! I can't wait to tell Link!"

"Go to Link, Malon. Let him feel the joy you feel," ordered the Deku Tree.

Malon ran back to Saria's house.

"LINK! SARIA! I'm pregnant! It's a boy!" Malon announced as she appeared in the doorway.

Link ran up to her and hugged her. They kissed.

"That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you both!" Saria joined in the hug.

"I'm going to be a dad! I'm going to have a son!" Link exclaimed, kissing his wife lovingly.

"Isn't it wonderful, Link? We're going to have a son!"

"Wow, Link, that's great! Zelda and I are trying for a child, as well," Azastan revealed.

"You guys better get going. It's getting late. Stop by again soon, I miss you guys!" Saria excitedly said. Then she looked at Prince Azastan. "Well, I mean, I guess you can come back? I'm not sure. I'll have to check with the Great Deku Tree first. If he says it's ok, then it's fine with me," Saria stated with a hesitant smile.

"Thanks, Saria, but this visit was much more than I was ready for. I think I'll stay out of the woods for a while,"

"Fine with me! Alright, get out of here, all of you! Night approaches!" Saria pushed the three adults out of her house, and they all walked out of the forest, got in the carriage, and rode back to the ranch.

"Did you want to spend the night, Prince Azastan?" Malon asked, noting that it was nearly dark.

"Um, well, I don't think I can make it back to the castle before dark, but I hate to impose..." the prince hesitated.

"Nonsense. We have an extra bed in Malon's old room. We'll bring you to the castle first thing in the morning," Link explained.

"Well, that is quite gracious of you. Alright, I'll stay the night," Prince Azastan agreed.

The next morning, Link, Malon, and Prince Azastan were awakened by horrific rumbling and hissing sounds. The three of them threw some clothes on, and met in the upstairs hall.

"What in tarnation?" Malon asked.

"Sounds like Goht," Link noted.

"What's Goht?" Prince Azastan asked.

"Mechanical goat in Termina...long story," Link replied.

"Alright, let's check it out," Malon led the two men down the stairs. Outside the house stood the strangest and largest carriage anyone present had ever seen. Impa got out of the strange carriage as it fell silent.

"Well, your battle carriage is completed, Link. What do you think?"

Link looked around the carriage, examined the spiked and sectioned tires and honeycomb wheels, and other odd features. He opened the trunk, and took out a barrel that he found there.

"Found the red water," Link said, placing the barrel around the corner, against the barn wall.

"Ok, so, what exactly is this?" Prince Azastan asked, marveling at the metal behemoth before him.

"That's Link's 200,000 rupee toy," Malon groaned.

"It wasn't 200,000 rupees. She's exaggerating. It was 190,000 rupees," Link quickly told Prince Azastan.

"HOLY...Link, that's the cost of the castle's West Wing!" Prince Azastan stated.

"Yeah, well, did you want high quality salted butter or not? I can't bring a normal cart and horse to Goron City with the volcanic activity going on," Link pressed.

"Well, I mean, he does have a point," Impa started.

"So, who wants to go for a drive to the castle?" Link asked, getting into the driver's seat. "Ooh, fancy...so, we've got a wheel to steer, a pedal labeled BRAKE, a lever labeled ICE, a lever labeled REVERSE, a lever labeled PARK, three large gold buttons labeled ETHER, BOMBOS and QUAKE, and a number of dials giving various readings...pressure, speed, temperature, ah, here's the magic meter...ok, cool, I can figure this out!"

Impa got in next to Link, Malon and Prince Azastan sat in the back with a space between them.

"This thing is big enough to seat a Goron!" Malon gasped.

Impa turned her head to look at Malon, as she put her arms through two leather straps on the back of her seat. "Actually, this vehicle will comfortably seat a Goron, and three Hylians, Gerudo or Zora. Also, the trunk can fit five large barrels, but if you need more space, the back seat folds flat. No clue why you'd need that much space, but better to have it than to not have it. Might want to put your arms in the straps on the back of your seat. This is going to be a bumpy ride,"

Link put his arms in the leather straps, and Malon and Prince Azastan followed his actions. Link then pulled the REVERSE lever, followed by the ICE lever. The engine roared to life and the carriage shot backwards, exiting the ranch. Link then stood on the brake pedal, pushing the REVERSE lever back to the forward position. He turned the wheel, and pulled the ICE lever, heading towards the castle.

"50...60..."

"Link! Slow down! We're almost at the gate, and I'd rather not crush the people of Castle Town! Do 20 here!" Impa ordered.

Link stood on the brake and slowed the carriage to 20, before backing the ICE lever to about 20%.

All the passengers in the carriage breathed a sigh of relief.

"What's the top speed of this thing, Impa?" Prince Azastan asked.

"125MPH, theoretically. I say that, because you'd need a lot of magic power to get the flame cold enough to do that. Link has already used a fifth of the magic power. More realistically, top speed maxes out between 80 and 90 MPH," Impa explained.

"Oh Din..." Malon moaned.

"Wow, yeah, that's...crazy fast...especially for something this big. How much does it weigh?"

"About 20,000 pounds. 10 Tons," Impa said, nonchalantly.

"Wow...that's...really heavy..." Prince Azastan mumbled.

"Oh Din..." Malon moaned.

Outside the carriage, the people of Castle Town were scrambling to get out of the way of what appeared to be a wheeled monster...or something...honestly, they weren't sure what it was, because nothing like it had ever been seen. It was big, loud and scary. That's all they knew. Also, that it was heading to Hyrule Castle.

The gate barely opened in time for the carriage to get through. But it did, and the guard was thankful. Link stopped the carriage at the drawbridge, and Azastan thanked him for the ride, and went into the castle. Impa smiled at Link.

"I think you'll do fine. I was going to give you operating instructions, but you seem to know what you're doing. Enjoy your BattleTank5000!" Impa said, as she got out of the carriage and walked into the castle. Malon joined Link in the front seat, and put her safety straps on.

"Can this thing really survive Death Mountain?" Malon asked.

"Only one way to find out!" Link replied, setting the ICE lever to 10% and rolling out the gate, through the town and out to Hyrule field.

Once in Hyrule Field, Link eased the ICE lever forward, getting up to 40MPH. He brought the BattleTank up the stairs leading into Kakariko Village, and slowed it to a crawl. He got to the path leading to Death Mountain, where Jarvis was standing. Link rolled his window down.

"Jarvis! I need to go up the mountain!"

"WAH HA HA HA HA HA! What in blue blazes is THAT?! Never seen anything like it!"

"Jarvis, just get out of the way. This thing is 10 tons of sheer power, and will crush you flat. I'd hate very much for me to have an accident," Link replied.

"Alright, Link. You win. I'd ask for a ride, but I need to stay here at my post," Jarvis said, stepping aside.

Link nudged the lever forward, and eased the Tank up the mountain. He ran over the tektites like they were nothing, and discovered it could go off the path if he gave it some power, which was good, because the path was narrow and the BattleTank was not. Link stopped at the entrance to Goron City, and pulled the PARK lever.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Thanks to all who are reading this! It truly is appreciated! There's going to be a bit of lemon in this chapter, nothing too extreme, though.

CHAPTER 13

Link and Malon headed into Goron City and walked into Darunia's chamber.

"OH HO! Welcome, Brother! What brings you up this way?" Darunia greeted Link.

"Well, I just wanted to ask you if you had any sixty pound blocks of 2954 salt left? We kinda ran out, and our smoked salt butter is our number one seller..."

"GOR CORON!" Darunia shouted, interrupting Link.

A goron rolled into the room. "Yes, Lord Darunia?"

"Bring me three sixty pound blocks of 2954," Darunia demanded.

"Th-th-three? B-but that's..."

"Yes, I know how valuable it is...and yet, are we not in the middle of volcanic activity identical to the 2953 eruption that created the 2954 salt?" Darunia challenged.

"Well, yes, but the new salt won't be harvested until 3005..."

"Very good. Then we'll still have two sixties and four tens to last two years. Please. Bring three sixty pound blocks of 2954 here before Link's hair turns gray," Darunia ordered.

"Yes, Lord Darunia," Gor Coron agreed and rolled out of the room.

"Well, I'd have the baby and it would be an adult by the time Link's hair turned gray," Malon giggled.

"OH HO! You're going to have a little one! That's great! Congratulations, you two!" Darunia clapped Link on the back, pushing him over.

Link stood up again, and brushed the dust off himself. "Thanks, Darunia, yes, Malon's going to have a baby," Link explained.

Malon added, "Yes, and we'll be sure to invite the Gorons to the baby shower,"

"Excellent! I've never been to a baby shower before! I suppose the little one would need a shower," Darunia started, picturing a very tiny Hylian under a waterfall.

"It's not that kind of shower. It's a gathering of friends who bring gifts for the baby. You won't need to bring anything, though, just come and celebrate with us," Malon giggled.

"YES! I will make sure the whole tribe is aware of this 'baby shower that is not an actual shower' when I get the invitation," Darunia agreed.

Just then, Gor Coron rolled in, balancing three huge salt blocks on his back.

"Very good! Will this last you a while?" Darunia asked.

"Yeah, that should last a good long time," Malon said.

"How much do we owe you?" Link asked.

"Don't worry, I'll send someone to the ranch to collect payment tomorrow. There's no way even YOU could carry 9,000 rupees," Darunia explained.

Malon pinched the bridge of her nose. "Link, you're spending so much money..."

"What's wrong, Malon? That's the going rate of this salt, and now that Link has 180 pounds himself, the price just went up to 60 rupees a pound," Darunia explained.

"She's still upset over the 190,000 rupees I spent on a carriage," Link explained.

"WHAT!? Can I see this magnificent thing?!" Darunia exclaimed.

"See it? You can RIDE in it! Come on, I'll take you down the mountain," Link invited.

The Goron and two Hylians walked outside and Link put the salt blocks in the trunk.

"WOW! This thing is HUGE! But, how does it move? I don't see a way to attach a team of horses..." Darunia noted.

"It's powered by steam. See, here's the boiler, and below that is a burner that creates a flame...

"Wait...that's a BLUE flame. Does that mean the steam is made with RED water?" Darunia asked.

"Yes, that's right. Good eye, Darunia," Link replied.

"Well, let's see what this thing can do!" Darunia said, climbing into the back seat. "Hmm, just enough head room, but plenty of leg room...I'll bet a Goron smaller than myself would be much more comfortable in this..." he continued.

Link and Malon got in the front seat and put their straps on. Darunia opted to hold onto the grab bar attached to the back of the front seat, instead. Link disengaged the BRAKE, and turned the wheel all the way to the left before easing the ICE forward. The vehicle slowly started rolling forward in a turn. Link added more ice, and the BattleTank headed down the mountain.

"YEEEEEHAAAW! Wow, this is a lot faster than rolling! WOW!" Darunia exclaimed.

"We're almost at the turn. Hang on!" Link announced. He turned the wheel, and just missed the corner. The BattleTank fell a few feet, but continued rolling as if nothing happened, slightly jarring the occupants.

"And here we are. The entrance to Kakariko," Link said, applying the brake pedal.

"WHOOHOO! What a ride! Link, thank you so much for that! HAW HAW! Would you be able to take me around Hyrule Field in this thing sometime?" Darunia asked.

"Of course! I'll have to charge you, though," Link replied.

"Absolutely! Would 1,000 rupees be fair?" Darunia asked.

"Yes, that seems like a fair price. Red water is not cheap, after all," Link agreed.

"In that case, I will send a messenger tomorrow to pick up 8,000 rupees, not 9,000," Darunia explained.

"Sounds great! We'll be seeing you!" Link waved as Darunia curled into a ball and rolled back up the mountain.

"Can we please go home, now?" Malon asked.

"Of course! But you do realize that if we charge 1,000 rupees for rides and errands that this thing will be paid off after 190 trips?" Link asked.

"Wow...maybe this was a good idea..." Malon thought aloud.

"I knew you'd like it," Link smirked, letting his foot off the brake and rolling the BattleTank down the stairs. 'I should run over some bushes in Hyrule Field. I'm at 50% magic in this thing'.

After doing donuts in Hyrule field, Link rolled into the ranch, and put the BattleTank in PARK.

"Was that really necessary, Link?"

"Well, I was getting low on magic in the BattleTank. Those bushes always have Magic Decanters," Link replied. "Look, green potion is 30 rupees. If I can get it free, I will,"

Malon sighed. "Yeah, that actually makes sense. We've had a long day. Let's go to bed,"

"Best idea ever!" Link agreed.

Upstairs, Link and Malon took off their clothes and got into bed.

Link looked into Malon's eyes. "Hey. You ok?"

"No. You're too far away," Malon replied.

Link wrapped his leg around her waist, pressing his body against hers. "How's this?"

Malon ran her fingers through Link's hair. "Better. Still not close enough,"

Link reached between them and shifted his stiff member. It was now buried in his wife's wet heat. "How's this?" he asked.

Malon rolled on her back, holding Link against her tightly, forcing him on top of her. She smiled. "Perfect. Now...I take it you know what to do from here?" Malon whispered seductively.

"Hmm, I think I can manage," Link growled in her ear as he ground his hips in a circular motion.

"Mmm, good..." Malon groaned, grabbing Link's ass with both hands, as he started to thrust harder and deeper.

Link grasped Malon's breasts and pinched her nipples while he thrust deep inside her. Then he reached down with one hand and frigged her clit while the other hand worked her right nipple. He sucked on the left nipple. She came hard and fast.

"Goddesses, I'm cumming!" Link groaned, as he filled Malon with his seed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck.

"Oh, Link..." Malon sighed, "I love you so much. Hold me like this for a while?" Link was already asleep, still hugging his wife.

The next morning, the loving couple got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, and were met by Darunia waiting outside.

"LINK! I was wondering if you could give me that ride, now...also, I'm here for the rupees you owe me,"

"You go on ahead, Link. I'll start the chores," Malon encouraged, seeing the worried look on her husband's face. Link went inside, and put 40 gold rupees into a sack.

"OH HO! I never thought to put rupees in a sack...makes much more sense than a wallet!" Darunia exclaimed, looking in the sack. "Shall we get going then?"

Link opened the trunk of the BattleTank, and Darunia threw the sack of rupees in. Link closed the trunk lid, and latched it tight. Link then opened the rear passenger door, and Darunia squeezed in. Link closed the rear passenger door, opened his own, and climbed into the driver's seat.

"Back to Death Mountain, Darunia? Or did you have another place you needed to go?" Link asked.

"Well, I would like to see Saria again...it has been a while since her and I spoke..."

Link interrupted. "To Kokiri Forest, it is!" Link took off the parking brake, and pushed the ICE lever, zooming out of the ranch.

In about ten minutes, they arrived at Kokiri Forest. "I don't think the bridge will handle the weight of this carriage, so we should get out here," Link said, engaging the parking brake. The Hylian and the Goron got out of the BattleTank and tried to enter the forest, but Mido was standing in the way, as he does.

"Oh, no, Link. Darunia, it's nice to see you, but no one gets in or out of this forest right now,"

"What's going on, Mido?" Link asked.

"The Deku Tree is under attack by loggers! The rest of the Kokiri and a few skull kids are trying to talk them out of it!"

"Loggers? These woods are off limits! The sages put protections in place to keep evil from finding these woods!" Darunia exclaimed.

"Yeah, well...SOMEONE let them in..." Mido mumbled.

"And Darunia and I will take them out. Actually, there IS something you could do for us, Mido..."

"What do you need?"

"I need this bridge to be strong enough for 26 tons," Link explained.

"WHAT!? Why would you need a bridge THAT strong?!"

"Because I have a weapon that can clear out those loggers but FAST. But this weapon is heavy. VERY heavy. I need this bridge to be stronger than it is to get to the Deku Tree," Link explained.

"Ok. I'll work on that. It'll be ready by the time you come back with this 'weapon'," Mido agreed.

Link and Darunia got into the BattleTank and Link started it up and released the parking brake. He slowly moved the behemoth forward, through the log tunnel. He stopped on the bridge, and opened the front passenger door. "Mido. Get in,"

Mido climbed into the passenger seat and put his lap belt on. Link fired up the boiler and gunned it through the village, tearing up the grass and changing the landscape of the forest floor on his way to the Deku Tree's grove. Before entering the grotto, Link told Mido to bring the Kokiri back to the village. After Link saw that all the Kokiri were out of the grotto, he gunned it. The lumberjacks were stunned, and tried to take off running. Link hit the Ether button, and they were all frozen in their tracks. The lumberjacks were loaded into the BattleTank's trunk.

Darunia and Link were out of the grotto, and out of the BattleTank when Saria appeared. "What is THAT?!" she exclaimed, pointing at Darunia, standing in front of the carriage.

"That's Darunia. He's the Fire Sage and ruler of the Goron tribe on Death Mountain..." Link started.

"No, I know Darunia. What is the thing BEHIND Darunia?"

"Oh. THAT. That's my new carriage. It's powered by steam. Do you like it?" Link asked, beaming.

"What? No, I mean, yes...well...it kind of destroyed the village?" Saria looked at all the dirt tracks and ditches made by Link's carriage.

"Pffft, whatever. Darunia, let's go clean up the mess we made,"

Darunia saluted and rolled over the dirt patches, smoothing them out, while Link scraped sheets of moss off the grotto walls and laid it over the repaired forest floor. "There. All better," Link smiled at a scowling Saria.

"Ugh, fine, it'll do for now. Just don't do that again," Saria scolded.

"Hey, I fixed the problem, didn't I?" Link retorted.

"Well...yes...and you never were one to worry about collateral damage..." agreed Saria, reluctantly.

"Link, you go on back to the ranch. I'm going to catch up with Saria. I'll take myself back to Death Mountain. That trip was well worth the money! HAW HAW! Thanks a lot, Brother! Be seeing ya!" Darunia said.

"Yeah, ok...don't forget your rupees," Link opened the trunk and tossed the sack of rupees to Darunia. "These lumberjacks...I have a funny feeling...I'm heading over to the castle to talk to Prince Azastan," Link replied, getting into the BattleTank and slowly making his way out of Kokiri Forest.

Once on Hyrule Field, Link zoomed towards the castle. He bounded over the drawbridge, drifted through Castle Town, and even crashed through the gate, not even slowing down for the guard, who barely got out of the way in time! Once he got to the moat, he stopped the BattleTank. He put it in park and opened his door. He opened the trunk and set the frozen lumberjacks down, one by one, in a line in front of the drawbridge threshold.

"LOWER THE DRAWBRIDGE! YESTERDAY!" Link shouted, climbing out of the BattleTank, its front end covered in frost.

The drawbridge crashed to the ground, the chains not even taking up slack by the time Link was through the castle gate. Impa greeted him. Not warmly, mind you...

"What is the meaning of this violent intrusion? Give me one reason I shouldn't have you thrown in the dungeon for property damage..."

"Property damage?! You want to talk about PROPERTY DAMAGE?! Let's talk about the six frozen loggers at your gate that were attempting to cut down the Great Deku Tree!" Link spat.

By this time, Prince Azastan and Princess Zelda had come down the hall to see what all the commotion was about, as a frazzled guard had just reported to them about a contraption that just destroyed the main gate. Both Azastan and Zelda were completely shocked upon hearing that the Great Deku Tree had been attacked by loggers.

"Show us these loggers," Princess Zelda replied, squinting with anger.

Link led the two royals and the Sheikah outside, where he left the lumberjacks.

"Oh geez...these are...oh this is embarrassing..." Prince Azastan squeezed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Azastan...aren't these the Alnrauf lumberjacks you granted a logging permit to? How did they get into the Deku Tree's grotto?" Zelda calmly asked, her hands on her hips. Someone had some 'splainin' to do.

"I have no idea. One of them must have been an earth wizard. It's the only explanation. I never gave them permission for this," Azastan whimpered.

"Link, we're all going to get in the BattleTank. Use the Bombos power. We need to thaw these guys and get answers," Impa stated.

Everyone in the immediate vicinity climbed into the BattleTank, and Link hit the Bombos button. A ring of fire surrounded the carriage. Massive explosions covered the area for about thirty seconds. Inside the carriage, only loud pops could be heard. Outside the carriage, the lumberjacks, previously frozen, were now thawed and completely dry. The group got out of the carriage, and the lumberjack foreman stepped up to Azastan.

"What is the meaning of this? How did we get here, and what is THAT!?" He demanded, pointing at the strange carriage.

"Don't worry about that. My question is, how did you get into the Kokiri Forest?" Azastan demanded back.

"Our earth wizard got us past the bridge easy enough. It was those damn hippie kids that stopped us. You said we could have any tree in Hyrule. Well, we wanted the really big one. Suddenly, that...THING...crashed through, and everything went dark until just a few moments ago," the lumberjack replied.

"That 'really big one' is the Guardian Spirit of the Kokiri Forest. You cut that down, and all Hell breaks loose. I've seen it happen before. It's not pretty. You want to cut it down? Fine. But YOU can clean up the mess when all those 'damn hippie kids' are dead and the forest is swarming with monsters," Link spat.

"Not only that, but the Kokiri Forest is the source of all plant life in Hyrule. If the forest dies, so do the crops. The crops die, so do we. Your actions could have killed all of us, because the forest cannot survive long without its guardian," Impa added scornfully.

Suddenly, King Harkinian III pulled up in his personal carriage. He rolled his window down. "What is the meaning of this?" He asked the group. Azastan opened the king's carriage door and sat in front of him. The king closed the door and rolled up the window.

"Basically, these lumberjacks from the Alnrauf kingdom wanted a tree, and I said they could have any tree in Hyrule, but the earth wizard among them got them into Kokiri Forest, and they tried to cut down the Great Deku..." Azastan was interrupted.

"WHAT!? Wonderful, now I need to talk with your father to see how to handle this situation. I want my ship ready and waiting by tomorrow morning. For now, let us lock these lumberjacks in the west tower dungeon. I do not want them getting too comfortable,"

"Yes, your highness. Understood. GUARDS! Take these men to the west tower dungeon, and prepare the King's ship for a twelve day voyage," replied Azastan, getting out of the carriage.

A flurry of guards arrested the lumberjacks and took them to the west tower, and more guards scrambled to get supplies to put on the H.M.S. Nayru's Destiny. Link asked how much he owed for the damage to the gate. The King told him not to worry about it, that his debt was paid by saving Hyrule...again. Link was leaving the castle and walking towards his carriage, which was nearly out of red water and magic by this point, when Impa told him to wait.

"You're probably running low by now. Let me fill up your magic meter and water tank before you go," she offered.

"Thanks, but I don't have enough rupees with me at the moment..."

"Nonsense. Just this one time, you get a free refill. And I'll even throw in an extra barrel of red water," Impa replied, smiling before disappearing in a Deku nut bang. She reappeared with a five foot tall cart with a barrel of red water on top, a hose, and a bottle of green potion. Link opened the hood and put the hose in the water tank, while Impa tapped the barrel, attached the hose, and turned on the spigot. While that was going on, Link poured the green potion in the magic meter. Soon enough, he was conservatively driving back to the Ranch.


End file.
